7 months ago I had a little boy. It took me a few months to find my feet in being a mother. After that point I thought that’s the reason I got put on this earth, to be a mother to my little boy.
however the past month has been very different. My moods are all over the place, one minuet I’m feeling okay, the next I get a rush of stress, sadness & anger. Within 5 minuets I’ve cooled off and back to feeling okay.
up until this evening, I broke. Even though I have no time for myself, to clean my home, to have a social life, run my small business, have a relationship with my partner 9 years. (The list could go on) I took it upon myself to start stripping all the wall paper in our hall & landing whilst I had my 35 minuets (when my baby naps) then my partner came home and a wave of everything that’s building up from this week starting rushing through my head. I gave my self a migraine (the one where I loose my vision and feeling in my hands and mouth. Which normally end up with my head in the toilet a few minuets later.) I led on the floor in tears, I don’t want my baby seeing me or my partner but I can’t control my emotions at the moment. I’m angry at my partner all the time, I’m trying to be a good mum just feel like I fail every day and he can sense when there is something up with me and it makes my days a little harder. My days consist of worrying/anxiousness around my baby, which means I don’t sleep the best. He sleeps fine goes down around 8 & wakes around 7. We recently moved him into his own room and I haven’t slept properly since. I feel like I part of me is missing.
im struggling, I wonder if it will pass?