How to help someone

[Parasauralophus]

A relative recently attempted suicide. We are not super close but I'm very fond of him and had not realised things were that bad for him. Right now would do anything at all that would help enable him to feel better.

I don't want to crowd the guy as he is recovering but wondered if anyone had been in this kind of bad place and recalled anything that anyone said to them that was useful? I also wondered whether to send him something cheering or distracting as he recovers. It might be totally off the mark but thought reminders of the people who care about him might be good.

I'd be really grateful for any pointers here as this lovely man should stay with us and I want to do anything at all that I can.

Bumping this. Thanks so much to anyone with thoughts

My friend has been in this position. Maybe some others who have dealt with closer relatives or friends will have better advice but he told me that friends just messaging even when he didn't feel like he could reply so he knew people cared really helped. Not trying to drag him out/ talk/ reply or do anything that obvious but just lovely regular messages - even if he can't reply letting him know they were there if they needed him and were thinking of him

I think sending him something small / thoughtful is a lovely idea - but always with the message that he doesn't have to reply/ open it - it was just to let him know you are thinking of him.

Thank you -- these are really good thoughts

I have been in his position. I would send him a small gift. Definitely send a card or message and second that put you have no expectations for a reply.
I found that I got lots of messages at the time but they soon dwindled off and only a couple of friends were consistent without being pushy.

I also felt that whilst still feeling depressed I then had the added guilt and shame of what I had done. Please be patient with him. You sound like a very kind person x

I'm the family member that tried.

My closest relative has been checking in, she's visited and we've just sat together not talking or gone for walks where it's easier to talk. She went to the doctors with me as well.

My other 2 friends who know have checked in a couple of times a day cheery but asking about mood and just small talk. It's nice to know I'm thought of.

I'm still as depressed as I was last week, and I'm worried about what happened so its still treating it as you would someone with depression..

Thank you for replying. I hope knowing how much people care about you is helping. While I haven't been where you have, I have been very depressed and am so happy I stuck around to see better times. Hoping you find your way to a similar place xx