I'm really struggling and don't know how much longer I can do this.

[Elizabethz1]

Me and my partner have been together 2 and a half years and have lived together for a year and a half. Since moving in things are just getting more difficult. He has a daughter who is 3 and I have a son who is 4. My little boy can be difficult he is waiting a refural for ADHD and possible autism. The kids just argue with each other constantly and me and my partner are starting to argue more and more whether it's about the kids or just stupid stuff. I feel like an awful mam I'm trying my best and we have a health visitor giving us support and advice but I just feel like nothing we try works with my little boy. I already struggled with anxiety and am on medication for it but I feel like I'm having some really bad days recently were I dont want to be here and i dont want to be a mam anymore. I love the kids and my partner so much and I really dont want to loose my partner but its getting to the point we both feel separating might be better for all of us but that really isn't what either of us want but we need to do the best for our kids. I feel heart broken and like the worst person in the world for feeling like giving up as a mam. I have an appointment with talking changes next week but I just feel so hopeless and alone and really dont know what to expect from the appointment.

@Elizabethz1 you need to hold on. As someone who has always struggled with anxiety the situation feels so much worse because of your anxiety.
You need support from family, a good Dr, therapy and you can do it! I know how lonely and hopeless it but it will change.
Are your meds helping?

Everyday just feels worse at the minute.
I've been on seraline for about a year and I think they help with my anxiety at first but as things are becoming more stressful I dont know if they are helping.
I'm hoping my appointment with talking changes will make a difference but at the minute it's making me feel more anxious as my appointment isn't till next week and I always feel anxious about talking to new people.

@Elizabethz1 Sertraline isn't magic and if it isn't helping you cope after a year it never will. Go back to your GP and ask for something else.

You can't make the kids get along. DP's kid can't understand your kid has additional needs. So extra parenting and intervention is needed to ensure they co exist as peacefully as siblings can.

Help yourself by reading up on ADHD/Autism so you can get a better understanding of what you may be dealing with and you can see things from DS's perspective. Things like what will set him off, sensory issues and routine issues that cause deep unrest in his neurodivergent wee mind.

Once you can see the world from his eyes, you can get ahead on some of the triggers and prevent the outbursts before they occur (as far as you can as a human and not a machine).

Also, be kinder to yourself. Give yourself permission to leave the house alone for a few hours to go grab a coffee and watch cat videos on tiktok for a couple of hours.

If you are to ever be a truly blended family, DP needs to learn how to parent both kids without you.

The prep starts with you and taking care of your needs first.

Agree with be kinder to yourself. You’re in
difficult circumstances and you are taking positive steps even though it feels hard - upcoming appointments, posting on here etc.

do you have things you can do to recharge your batteries?