Is this depression......?

[jellybabe83]

I gave birth 9 months ago to a gorgeous little boy who I love more than anything in the world. Previous to becoming pregnant, I was diagnosed with depression, and prescribed anti-depressents. I stopped taking these when I found out I was pregnant, and felt fine throughout most of my pregnancy, just a bit weepy which I was told was normal. Since having my son though, I am extremely weepy, I get stressed out very easily, and aggitated, and I just feel so down in the dumps a lot of the time. I have days when I'm so happy, and nothing in the world could bring me down, and then the next day, I just don't even want to get dressed. I'm finding it so hard because my little boy wants to play and do things all the time, and I just don't feel like it. I try so hard, but end up letting him play alone most of the time. I go to a mother and baby group once a week, and I'm fine there, but as soon as I get home I feel miserable again. My group even made plans to go for a christmas meal recently, and at the last minute, I pulled out, and I don't even know why. I do this alot.....
I really don't want to go back on anti-depressents, and I don't paticularly want to speak to my doctor about it because he's always very critical when I speak to him about anything. I just wondered if anyone here has any advice, and does it sound as though I'm depressed, or could it just be my hormones after having my son.....?
Any advice would be hugely appreciated.
Many thanks
Fran
xx

Fran, sorry to hear you're feeling low, there will be plenty of help and advice on here for you that i can't give. BUT, couldn't help feeling how wrong it is that you can't speak to your gp....
Could you look into changing your gp, there are alot of very understanding, knowledgeable, sympathetic gp's out there who's calling is to help and listen to their patients. I know this isn't necessarily the answer to your problem but it would really make a difference.

Hi Fran,

Sending a ((((((hug))))))
Know just how you feel as I was the same after having my ds. He's nearly two now and I'm through the other side - but not so far through that I can't remember what these feelings were like. At one point I was crying everyday.

Yes it does sound as though you are depressed, possibly postnatal depression but there's so much more to this than just sheer hormones (although admittedly they don't help). I think the biggest thing for me was sheer exhaustion (my ds did not sleep through the night until he was nine months). Also it's just such a huge life change having a baby - I don't think anyone can prepare you for it no matter how many antenatal classes you attend.
If your GP is unsympathetic is there another one you could re-register with. Also, what is your HV like? Mine did not come near nor by when I was suffering and I would have so welcomed the chance to talk to someone about how I was feeling. I'm a HV and I always make a special effort to keep in touch with anyone feeling like this as I can well remember how isolated I felt with it. Even if she could just pop in once a week or so and just listen to how you are feeling it might help.

Check out the Meet a Mum Association website (abbrevieted to MAMA) which gives more information about postnatal depression and details of how to make contact with others in your area who may have gone through the same.

Hope that helps a bit

Mandy

jellybabe, I am in the middle of giving my baby a bath but wanted you to know I was thinking of you. I will post in about an hour x

Agree it does sound as if you're depressed hun
I feel it's awful that your GP isn't more sympathetic I hope you find a professional with more sense who can help you.
Keep posting on here though as there are loads who have been in the same situation, me included.
((((((hugs))))))

Poor you Fran {{{hugs}}}. It does sound like depression to me. I was diagnosed with pnd after ds but in hindsight I think that I probably had depression for a long time before I had either of my children. I did change doctors when I realised I needed to ask for help. I agree with Mandy that your HV can be a godsend if she is any good. Mine was fantastic and came round to see me at home for an hour every week until I was feeling stronger. I know you dont want to go back on anti-depressents and I dont blame you but if they help you feel better it will be worth it. I came off them too soon after ds (after 6 months) and within another 6 months was feeling really low again. I went back on them and decided to stay on for a year and since i came off them I have been fine (about 18 months now).

Fran sorry to hear you are feeling low >agree with Asnm my hv was brill once she realised there was a problem she visited me every week,could you contact your hv and ask her to call round for a chat??.Feel angry that your gp not very understanding or supportivemaybe you should consider changing or is their another gp at the practice you could see instead?
When i had depression i was very low as well their were days i didnt want to see anyone or leave the house and i remember crying daily,i was a right mess!!!!my gp gave me ad's and i understand how you dont want to go back on them but for me they helped.Just noticed your gp is a male is their a lady gp you could speak to,mine was wonderful she had just had a baby a few months before me and she was so understanding.
Sorry to ask so many questions but you should be getting more help,this is a discrace imo

Hi Fran - just to repeat what the others have said really. Definately contact the health visitor. Also are you getting a break from the baby at all during the week - just some time to do whatever you want, shopping, reading a magazine, going back to bed, just having a long bath?
Also because you seem to get a lift from going to the Mother and Baby group is it possible to find a couple of other activities during the week to give you a bit more structure?
One of the things that we were advised to do when I went to a PND support group was to split the day into short chunks so that you weren't faced with hours and hours of time to fill.
It could be hormones or it could be that your original depression wasnt fully treated but either way you will get better with some proper support.

Good Luck!
Kizziex

Thanks for all your advice and support guys.... put a smile on my face .....!
I've only recently moved, and I saw my health visitor for the first time for Bens 9 month checkup, but didn't really get a chance to chat to her. I don't really get any time to myself. My partner gets home from work and goes on the computer. Don't get me wrong, he's lovely and caring and plays with Ben loads, but I do all the housework, cook tea, bath ben, put ben to bed etc.... It does get a bit much sometimes.
I'm not sure if there's a female GP, but I think I'll enquire about it. I had a lovely male GP when I was suffering from depression before (I've had it on and off for about 2 years now), but he's since left the surgery. Also I'm a bit worried about taking anti-depressents because I'm on the pill, and the reason I became pregnant with ben was because my anti-depressents counteracted the pill. I'm getting married next summer, and have my dress, so I really don't want to end up pregnant again before the wedding....! Lol.
Also, I haven't really told my partner how I'm feeling, which I think I probably should..... it's just that last time it affected him in quite a big way,and he started to get quite down about it and we were always arguing. So I'm not sure if telling him is a good idea.....
Thanks again for all your help.
Fran
xxx

Awww sorry to hear you can't talk to your dp about this Glad we cheered you up though

Do you have a contact no. for you HV? Are you out at work? If not she'll come to visit if you ring her. Please try to make time to get some help for yourself.
Does your surgery have a website? Ours does and you can post querys on it and they get back to you.

Do you think your dp thinks your depression reflects him in some way? Maybe he doesn't fully understand that it's a chemical thing most of the time and no one/thing causes it. Could you get him some literature on it and hand it to him or write a letter trying to explain?

Hi jellybabe, how you doing?

I'm feeling okay today thanks.... had a bit of a chat with my partner last night about it all, but he doesn't seem to understand that it's not just one thing that's making me feel this way, it's loads of different things rolled into one... I did speak to mum about it yesterday too though, and she was really understanding, and even came home from work early to give me a bit of a break from ben and help me out with housework, bless her...
xxx

that's good jellybabe

Keep at it with dp though as you need his support. Could he go with you to see the doc perhaps? Or maybe there's some info on the net he could look at? Hope he begins to understand soon hun xx

hi jellybabe. glad your mum's being so helpful at trying to give you a bit of a break.

just a point to do with the ADs. Was it that you were on the pill and St John Worts, and think that affected the effectiveness of the pill - as I've only ever heard of that being a problem with SJW, not with other ADs.

bump

Hi, sorry haven't replied, had a bad couple of days...
The ad's I was taking whilst on the pill were Fluoxetine. I wasn't told it could counteract it, but that's the conclusion my GP came to when I foudn out I was pregnant.
DP's not been much help the last few days though.... I think this is a mixture of stress and pnd. He's just making things so difficult at the moment.....