Having a panic attack - talk me down

[LennyBalls]

Hi, I am currently having a panic attack and I don't really know why. We are going to friends tonight who we see on such a regular basis and I am hundred per cent comfortable around them.

I have had a horrible few weeks with the death of my father and having to sort funeral arrangements as I have two brothers with mental health issues. Then couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine died suddenly and the a close family member has been diagnosed with serious health problems.

I have spent 30 years dealing with my siblings mental health problems but my parents were alive so they took the brunt of it. Now that they have both passed I feel the responsibility.

I know the above is probably why I have started having panic attacks but I don't know why I feel particularly anxious about going to friend's tonight.

Never had panic attacks before. Had the first one a few days after my dad died.

I am sitting calmly trying to read a book but can't breathe and I am shaking.

You poor thing. Can you put something on you tube that’s relaxing and focus on calming on your breathing. It’s totally understandable why you’re having this now. You’ve been through so much and it’s often once the immediate major stress has resolved a tiny bit, that you start to feel the panic and stress. It’s maybe the enormity of what you’ve been through and the sense of responsibility you know feel towards your brothers, that’s hitting you. Is there any help or support you can get in real life? It’s such a lot on your shoulders.

Instead of reading can you try an audio book or podcast about something unchallenging

Download the box breathe app, it's really good to regulate your breathing.
Ive used it numerous times for patients.

Second the box breathing - here's a video;

And this video on panic attacks will help you understand and control them;

Hi @LennyBalls
Handhold here xx
Please know that it's going to be ok. This time will pass, you're a very strong person and you will get through this xx

Drink some glasses of water, slowly.

When you do the box breathing, make sure you move your eyes too - I find moving my eyes side to side like watching a pendulum helps.

All you ever have to do is get through the next minute.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I did a breathing exercise from you tube which really helped calm me down but I'm still feeling really anxious.
I am going to look at the Box app and videos.
Thank you.

I'm not a dippy hippy type, but I have used Bach Rescue Remedy for years and whether it's just a placebo or not, it has worked for me. Give it a go. Just a few drops under the tongue. (it's also preserved in brandy which may be the secret ingredient 😬)

LennyBalls. It’s good the breathing exercises helped a bit. It’s not surprising one bit you are feeling anxious. Your whole system is probably pumping out adrenaline with what you’ve been through and the repercussions. It’s all so recent too. Keep going with guided relaxation videos, easy to listen to podcasts or anything you find a bit calming and consciously try relax your jaw, hands, and muscles in general. Panic attacks are so scary. I started with them after my Mum died and I had no idea what the weird symptoms were. Is there anyone who is able to look out for you, someone you can talk to? I think what your feeling is normal but it’s horrible and overwhelming, so any help at all you can get is good, even offloading some stuff on here. It’s such an isolating feeling so knowing there are others who understand a bit about what it can feel like, might help too.

I think you are possibly feeling anxious because your friends will ask how you are and you may not feel able to tell them without loosing your self control. I hope you did manage to go but if you didn’t there will be other opportunities when you feel a bit stronger.

Dr Claire weeks has a technique for panic..briefly its:
Face it
Accept it
Float thru it
Let time pass

The most important bit is to accept it....this technique truly saved me!!!

Her book is self help for your nerves

I think sometimes we should listen to our bodies. If you feel anxious, don't go. If they are good friends they will understand. You have had a huge amount on your plate. It is bound to cause you to be somewhat fragile.

Give yourself some time and space.

This. Absolutely this. You are off to see friends who know you and care about you. You've had so much to deal with that you are feeling very fragile and rightly so. Your subconscious is worrying for you that you won't be able to to be your normal fine fine everything's fine self. And sometimes a word of kindness is just too difficult to cope with.
But with the breathing and mediation you will be ok. It will take time. And it will happen again. But these people are your friends. They want you to be as good as you can be and they will want to help if they can. So if they offer help do accept graciously because they really do care.
Big hugs and a hand hold. You can do this.

Update: I went to my friends and had a lovely evening. There was a brief moment where they asked me about my dad etc which was difficult but then it was just a normal relaxed evening.
However, I just feel so anxious all the time at the moment. I bought some CBD calm oil today. Didn't really do anything. I need to just research and practice the BoxBreathing. I don't really want to take any medication but I can't really handle the anxiety.
Thank til everyone. Really appreciate it. X

I'm glad you had a nice evening op, and that you have friends who can support you.

Medication can help of course but you don't have to jump into it, especially while your grief is so raw.

Here are some non-medication exercises you could try in the meantime: anxiety exercises

It’s really good you were able to get to your friends and had a good evening. I think it would be unusual with everything you’re going through, if you felt fine. It’s completely normal to feel so anxious. If it doesn’t get any better though, I’d definitely consider getting some support or speaking to your doctor. But hopefully the really bad anxiety will begin to settle with more time. Distraction, relaxation, breathing and if you can, being in company are all positive and could help you get it under more control. But good days and bad days are a part of grief and the weight of responsibility you have. Do you have anything planned over the weekend?