50 and feel like life passing me by

[J7223j]

hit 50 this year spent the last 20 year bringup up the kids and working to try and get them settled and happy in life. Kids are pretty independent these days 1 at uni one finishing school soon and out with friends the majority of the time. Moved to a rural place fare from where im from just before the 1st was born but despite having a few friends always feel like im the outsider (always feel like I'm invited to things as an afterthought) Works pretty stressful im the main earner. Feel like ive lost a lot of confidence over the years despite lots of compliments. Im pretty shy but i feel like i need to get out and meet some new people and do more. The entertainment the few friends lives revolve around is drinking and getting together and as much as a drink its nice to unwind im not a big drinker - mainly because i suffer terrible hangovers even after drinking very little - i think they think im boring. My DH is always happy quite happy to chill in front of the TV and go for dog walks but Im wanting a bit more from life. Just don't know where to start. Generally feel pretty bored most of the time.

Go out and do things on your own - check MeetUP website to see if there is anything nearby that resonates with you or look in your magazine of things that are happening in your rural area and make the effort to try some things out. Is there something you could join like a local tennis club, or hiking or running group or some hobby group?

Maybe you could book to go away on activity weekend yourself or a "retreat."

I bet the stress you are feeling at work is having a bad effect on you - is there anyway you can simplify things for yourself, especially at home - could your DH or DC take over cooking and shopping duties for you or more oft he household chores - any things that would lessen the mental load you carry?

@sapatsea i think you have nailed it I do have a high mental load - i do the finances insurances all the organisation - hubby does some cooking and ironing but i deal with all the kids organising etc. I start going to the gym but usually after 6 weeks or so it starts to slip as i need to catch up housework etc. Hubby says I should put myself first but find it hard to relax in a messy home - it doesnt bother him. I think ive realised I need to start being a bit more selfish - ive tried really hard to be a good mum because I didn't feel my mum was that great but i think ive maybe tried too hard. I really need to find some friend who have similar interests as me, Not a lot to do here tbh but I need to start investigating and get back to the gym as it definitely helps lift the mood.