I'm really struggling with my DD - she is 18 years old and has just finished her A-levels. In the last 3 years, her behaviour has changed so much - she was such a young care free girl all of her life up until 15. I look back at pictures of her from birth to 15 and could cry. She has this year had a diagnosis of ADHD and has developed some other issues, such as a small tic, some anxiety. She just seems so negative, the glass is always half empty, her get up and go has left. She is very judgmental of people, kind to only a handful of people, a lot of people she finds irritating and seems to have no tolerance of (but she expects people to accept her with her ADHD for who she is). Sometimes I don't think she is someone to be proud of, and that makes me feel like a terrible parent and ashamed.
Her boyfriend has told me that sometimes she has panic attacks and scratches herself - but she hasn't told me, and I don't want to divulge what he has told me. I know she's not into partying, doesn't like loud places, not keen on drinking, gets tired and so will go out but has had enough by not long after midnight and wants to go home. I worry her bf will eventually have had enough and want a normal carefree life like a lot of lads would.
One of the things that I find hard is that she doesn't seem to want to help herself - we've taken her to counselling, paid for ADHD diagnosis, paid for ADHD medication. They suggest things like "read this book, or look at these resources" - and she hasn't done a thing. I know there is a saying which is "you can take the horse to water, but you can't make it drink" and I'm finding it so true.
One of my biggest issues is I feel like - is it my fault? Is it something I have done wrong? My father suffered with mental health issues and addiction for most of my childhood and I am starting to feel sick and worry - is this me, have I passed on something genetic to her? As a parent, I feel like I want to try and fix her as if she is broken - but does she need to just find her own way? I find seeing others from her year group, all excited to be off on their next adventure into the world, some are going travelling, have uni lined up and all seem happy and carefree. I just wish for that for my daughter.