Unhappy but don't know why?

[ZickZack]

I just need to get this out and maybe something will click?
I used to have a positive outlook, be silly, not take so seriously. These days I find myself feeling low, staring at my phone too much, feeling guilty all the time, feeling out of control, snapping too much. I still find some joy, enjoy days out with my kids etc. But I feel like I keep searching for something like something is missing and I'm wondering why. Trying to fill what hole?

I live abroad and am quite isolated there trying to find friends / community. I'm home right now and loving seeing family/friends. Feel mentally better. But I still have these lows. It's nothing like wanting to hurt myself or anyone else. But just a bit empty.

I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Maybe it's hormones? Maybe I'm unhappy with something that I can't quite put my finger on?

I'm actively trying to help myself (exercising, walking, spending time outside, putting my phone away, eating right, trying to let things go and not get so snappy). It's working but at the same time I still feel this way.

Why could I be feeling like this? Just feel a bit lost right now when all I want to do is enjoy where I'm at.

trying to let things go and not get so snappy

Are you trying to minimise your negative feelings, rather than doing what you need to do to feel positive ones? Maybe walking/spending time outside isn't what you want? Maybe you need to be with people, or be learning, or creating, or something else. You can't just say 'Well, I've been for a walk, so I should be happy now'... you have to hunt.

The thing that stood out to me was that you're living abroad, away from friends and family, with two tiny children. You feel isolated. That in itself seems like reason enough to be feeling low.

You also sound like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do stuff to feel better. Sometimes you have to really sit in with the feelings to figure out what they're telling you.

@Watchkeys I do feel much better after being outside in the fresh air but historically it's never really been my kind of thing, so I suppose that is something to think about. I know I'm happy reading a book, having coffee, writing. Maybe I need to make more time for that.

@TreesWelliesKnees thank you, it's never actually occured to me to just sit with my feelings. I tend to spend my time looking for ways to pull myself out of it, like I'm fighting it. I think trying to find some quiet time in amongst everything might help me work out what's going on.

The best piece of advice I've ever been given was 'Do what you want.' It's so simple. The more of your time, your hours, days, years, you spend doing what you want, rather than what you think you should be doing, the better your life will feel. I even believe this to be true with depression. If you feel like lying in bed, do it. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. That's what's hard.

Have you realised yet the freedom of having no purpose in life? We're not here for any particular reason. There's no epic mission for each of us to strive for. We are free. You are free. Read lots!