Anyone just feel like life really didn’t turn out the way you expected? I'm 37...
Don’t get me wrong my life currently is not terrible… I like my job but I’m clearly stuck in a total rut due to lack of opportunities in my niche field...I have a nice home, friends and family and my fur babies love me but I just feel like there’s some kind of void that all the fancy holidays, glamorous clothes and fake eyelashes will never fill…
No partner - not through want of trying but it's either right man wrong circumstances or hello narcissist.. no kids (nor will there ever be) endometriosis that leaves me in agony every few weeks with no treatment I can have, a brain that works differently to most people (ASD) and just a feeling of general unhappiness I don’t know
Like when will I ever catch a break seriously? I wonder how life would have turned out had I not had to spend so much of my 20s rebuilding it from scratch - abusive relationship who cost me everything I had on top of the beatings, the rapes, the emotional abuse...On top of the years of therapy I already needed up that point due to an alcoholic father who died young and an overbearing mother who 'wanted the best for me'
I'm up to my eyes in debt, drink far too much and have a raging eating disorder. Ironically I work in mental health yet I've gone as far as I can go down that route in terms of help (already on meds for depression and anxiety)
Not sure of the point to this post but feels better putting it out there