Are my feelings normal or should I be seeking more support for my mental health?

[ChasingRainbows8]

I'm feeling really flat and not sure how to manage my mental health. I have a 2.5 year old DD and a 10 month old DD, I love them but feel no joy. I cry lots throughout each day and have to make excuses to have time away from my babies to find space to be able to not cry in front of them.

I feel anxious about seeing people, will happily take them out on my own in isolation but find excuses to not see other people.

I worry about them not being here, I imagine them not being here and how I would cope. I then think of ways in which I would end my life if one of them was to die. I have a negative behaviour of seeking out sad stories on Instagram which further feeds my fears, sometimes I just crumble onto the floor with the pain in my heart.

I have never really wanted to take medication for my mental health. I know that in my local area you self refer to therapy, so I thought I would try this first before speaking to my GP (knowing the options would be meds or self referral). I made a referral and they completed an assessment, the therapist basically said what I am feeling is normal within the forst 12 months of having a baby. He agreed to send me a course on health anxiety to complete at home, but I've not received anything. Do you think he is right and my feelings and behaviours are normal for a mum with 2 little ones?

Oh, @ChasingRainbows8 I think you should speak to your GP and get some more help.

This sounds miserable for you, and there is help out there

Your therapist is wrong, it's not normal to cry lots every day. Please talk to your GP and maybe post on https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/postnatal_health for support and good advice.

No that's awful terrible advice from the therapist. Please report him to his practice manager or put in a complaint via PALS. His advice is dangerous. It's not "normal" to have mental illness after birth, it's "common" but it's treatable and his job was to help you treat it. Women literally die from postnatal mental illness and it was a shocking oversight that he said that and just discharged you.

If you'd gone to the GP sooner, they would have been able to refer you to the postnatal mental health team who had more support available. They might still refer you at 10m postpartum, but you won't get much out of it before they discharge you on your child's first birthday now.
Don't sit on this, go to your GP and see what they can do to help.

And in the nicest possible way, so what if you need some medication? It's antidepressants, not crystal meth!! Don't you take paracetamol when you're in pain?