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Original poster

Anxiety is sky high

26 replies

dandeliontea78 · 27/07/2023 20:39

I need to see my doctor again, I know I do.

But in the meantime any top tips on managing anxiety and intrusive thoughts?

Mainly around health, but also just general around things going wrong, missing out on things etc.

An example being we have a big trip planned next week. I've heard that several people have gone of sick at work and I'm panicking now that I'm going to get whatever it is and either be unwell for the trip or pass it on to all my family so they are.

As I say, I know I need to speak to a professional, but realistically I won't be able to do that before we go away.

OP posts:
Ilovedogs1 · 27/07/2023 20:48

Hey. You say you need to see your doctor again. Does this mean you have an outstanding, diagnosed MH condition?

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 27/07/2023 20:51

No, not really diagnosed. I spoke to my GP about how I was feeling, but never did any assessments or anything. We've had a lot going on with various family members and she said see how I get on and come back to her if I continue feeling like it. I had been doing much better so hadn't been back, but suddenly it's all flared up again.

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GardeningIdiot · 27/07/2023 20:56

This is really helpful:

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anxiety-Books-Prescription-Title/dp/1849018782/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=ecc791aa-cde7-4bce-bfc5-4195a751001c

Also controlled breathing, lots on YouTube.

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 27/07/2023 21:06

Thank you @GardeningIdiot - I'll take a look at this

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TigerDroveAgain · 27/07/2023 21:15

breathing: try free meditation (Calm is good, not sure if they have free stuff, Tara Brach, Plum Village). getting just a few minutes of 'out time' really helps.

Eyesopenwideawake · 28/07/2023 08:19

One way to look at things is to remember that your record for getting through bad (and good!) days currently stands at 100%.

We never know what we are going to face every day* but humans are infinitely resourceful and adaptable. You have a lifetime of dealing with situations, coping with the unexpected and using your knowledge and intelligence to figure out what to do. So no matter what happens today, tomorrow, next week or next month/year you will always cope. It's what we do. Keep telling yourself that.

*For me, in the last few weeks, dealing with a very scared snake in the utility room and a camera crew filming a singing Roman centurion with one of our horses. Didn't think that was going to happen when I woke up that morning!!

Ilovedogs1 · 28/07/2023 10:16

@dandeliontea78 I have OCD and what you put in your post sounds like you may have OCD tendencies possibly. A lot of OCD intrusive thoughts start with 'what if'.
The way I describe it is like there are 2 parts of you. The logical bit that knows things are ok then the OCD bit that is constantly saying 'but what if' .
The thoughts are usually accompanied by intense feelings of anxiety.
There is an online resource called made of millions which may be worth a look. X

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 30/07/2023 08:36

Thank you everyone. Lots of great resources.
It's got worse with DH now having an upset stomach. He is so filled meanwhile I'm panicking that we've got 5 days until we go and 3 more of us to potentially catch it.

@Ilovedogs1 that's really interesting. When I was younger I was hugely in the camp of 'what if I left my straighteners/the iron on, what if I didn't lock the door' etc.

@Eyesopenwideawake that sounds like quite an unexpected week! Whatever happens we will make it through of course... but it doesn't help me because the thought of the disappointment for my children is just horrendous. I wish I hadn't told them we were going.

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Eyesopenwideawake · 30/07/2023 09:47

the thought of the disappointment for my children is just horrendous.

Try a CBT technique - put that thought on trial.

Write it down (just the act of doing that can rob the thought of a lot of it's power). Then write down the evidence in support of the thought and the evidence against. Will your children really be disappointed if they are poorly on holiday or will they love being in a new place with all the excitement, things to do, games to play etc?

Then write down a more reasoned thought, i.e. "it might curtailed our activities for a couple of days but we will still have a great time". Your thoughts are not facts and they are not immutable. Give it a go...

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 31/07/2023 11:37

Thank you @Eyesopenwideawake - i have tried that for a couple of things. It helps a little. I just find that I still then think 'but someone is the unlucky one that all this stuff happens to'
The biggest fear is that someone is too unwell to travel. In which case the disappointment would be horrendous for all of us. This is a once in a lifetime trip. Im struggling to make the technique work for this one

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Eyesopenwideawake · 31/07/2023 11:42

Too late to do anything meaningful now but when you get back please look into some kind of therapy to kick this way of thinking - it's been around since childhood as per your earlier comment and you really don't need to live this way.

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 31/07/2023 13:03

Yes I know. It's been bubbling away at a low level for a long long time. Having children and covid have definitely made it worse though.
I think I've been in denial because day to day it doesn't affect me too much, but then something like this happens and I realise how much of a problem it is.

Is it unusual that I also worry about having the label of anxiety put on me? I don't want it to define me, and I don't want people to not take my worries seriously because 'oh that's just her anxiety talking'

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Eyesopenwideawake · 31/07/2023 16:35

Anxiety is an emotion, not a disease. It's purpose is to alert you to things that are too important to ignore, such as revising for an exam, switching the cooker off or taking your children to school on time. Without it nothing would seem to be of value or interest. It's when the emotion gets out of control that it becomes a problem (in the same way that anger fulfils a purpose when appropriate, but being angry all the time is bad for you and everyone around you). Seeking help in order to understand and control your anxiety responses can only be a positive.

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 31/07/2023 19:38

Thank you for being so kind.

I promise to get some help with this when we're home

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dizzydizzydizzy · 31/07/2023 19:45

GardeningIdiot · 27/07/2023 20:56

Thank you. That book sounds like a good shout. I generally find reading books helps me solve a lot of problems. I hadn't actually thought about reading a book on anxiety. (Mine's really bad too)

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 01/08/2023 10:19

Because I don't want to worry anyone in real life I'm writing this here.
My fears have been realised and I now have an upset tummy. I think this is why I find it so hard to shake off the anxiety because time and time again I am proved right. We have two children who were in my bed for cuddles this morning and for whom I've been making food for all week and today so they are bound to catch it too. My DH was Friday he started so it's taken me 4 days to get symptoms, and we go away in 3 days. Sad

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Eyesopenwideawake · 01/08/2023 11:53

It could be that the anxiety has caused your upset stomach but, assuming it's not, what's plan B? How ill was your husband over the last few days? Was he in bed or able to carry on? Have you got medication for you and the children? It could be that you'll all be a bit poorly for the first couple of days and then OK. If it's possible that the children will be too ill to travel have you got travel insurance?

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 01/08/2023 12:01

Not feeling unwell at all. And yes he was able to carry on as normal but with more toilet trips than usual!
I'm not sure you can get diarrhoea medication for children can you? I have some for adults packed already.

It's the travelling that will be a problem, although rationally we will have access to a toilet on our mode of transport.

We do have insurance, but cancelling would be absolutely devastating for the children, I don't want to give the details away but they have never been as excited for a holiday as they are for this one.
This is where the anxiety is at play. Because there is no rational reason they should be too unwell to travel. But my brain still says 'what if they get it worse than us and are vomiting or have very high fevers and feel terrible'

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Eyesopenwideawake · 01/08/2023 12:07

What if they do? You'll cope (see my first post!), it won't last for long and you have insurance. Once it's passed you can enjoy the rest of the holiday and it'll be the one you remember for years "remember that holiday when we were kids when I vomited on Mickey Mouse's boots?!!"

Tell your brain to STFU - it's not being helpful...!

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 01/08/2023 12:10

Thank you. I'm really really trying to tell it to shut up! DH is so laid back he's horizontal which actually makes it worse for me in a way because I feel like I'm in it alone trying to cover all bases!

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Eyesopenwideawake · 01/08/2023 12:36

Try a little bit of self hypnosis. When you have a catastrophic thought ("this holiday is going to be a disaster" or similar) talk to yourself, either in your head or out loud (don't do the latter in the supermarket!) and say "I've heard you. You can stop telling me this now because I'm in charge, I know what to do, no matter what happens and what you're saying to me is neither helpful or necessarily true so please stop now."

Your subconscious mind is yelling at you because it wants you to listen to it's fears - rather like a small child who whines louder and louder to get your attention. Acknowledge the thought, accept it but do not give it any credence. Do whatever you can to mitigate the actual risk and then carry on. You'll be fine.

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 01/08/2023 14:12

Thank you so much. Honestly it helps so much to just have someone listen and come up with constructive ideas to make myself feel better.

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Eyesopenwideawake · 01/08/2023 14:51

No worries - have a wonderful holiday and let us know how it goes 😁

Original poster
dandeliontea78 · 10/08/2023 19:06

@Eyesopenwideawake we just got back and had a wonderful time. Everyone was fine and nothing went wrong.
Thank you for all your help. I have an appointment booked with my doctor in a couple of weeks time.

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