The last few months, my anxiety has been really bad. I have been withdrawing from wanting to do anything that involves interacting with people.
So less than 2 years ago, FIL sadly passed away. DP and I, (mainly me) did everything that we could for MIL, funeral arrangements, bills, pension, council, garden, etc etc. I was happy to do all of this but she is such hard work, mentally. Our relationship has been under a lot of strain, as she has been taking her grief and anger out on me and me alone. She has got a nasty temper and has tried to bully me and emotionally blackmail me if I disagree with something.
I pulled away without rocking the boat. Told DP that he can deal with her needs. Told MIL that my medical condition symptoms were flaring up because of stress. She has finally got other people to talk to and give her emotional support, so has been a bit less demanding.
Although she is no longer directly causing me stress. My anxiety has not reduced because every time my phone beeps, my heart races and I am instantly in fight or flight mode incase it's MIL with yet another problem. We go to visit every other week and I dread it and don't want to go because I don't know what sort of mood she will be in. I feel guilty that I can no longer manage to support her but I have given her all of the mental capacity that I could spare. As already mentioned, I have a medical condition, DP has medical condition, we have 2 boys, 1 asd, 1 physical disability. I have enough on my plate.
Anyway. Don't know what I am hoping for by putting this on here, suppose I am just having a rant to let off steam.