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Original poster

Single parent

16 replies

Grenola · 26/07/2023 19:18

I’m just so tired, feel like a failure and just want more than anything a loving relationship.

im so sick of being me, and all the energy and time I put into being happy and healthy. I’ve had enough. I’m just lonely now and sick of being independent and happy alone. Sick of everyone saying you’re fine alone ect…. It’s just so hard.

how can I have faith and hope in the future. …. That I have things to look forward to. I’m well equipped with hobbies and friends and dates ect..,,, but today I’ve reached a threshold and I am just sick of it. Just so dam lovely sbd sad

OP posts:
Convincemebob · 26/07/2023 19:20

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Plantsarelife · 26/07/2023 19:26

OP I don't have the answers I'm afraid but I feel exactly the same, I have been a single parent for years now.
My child and I have a brilliant relationship and we live a very full life, but sometimes it still feels so lonely and there like there is a void.

Original poster
Grenola · 26/07/2023 19:29

Yeah, it’s not the same. The relationship with your child is just too tenuous and isn’t always satisfying due to how hard it is.

im just really not doing well with it all.

I hold on so tight for the kids, frame stuff positively…. Be strong but you know what.

it is shit, it is hard and no one wants a broke up family. I want nothing else but to be part of a faintly unit with two adults

OP posts:
Convincemebob · 26/07/2023 19:41

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Original poster
Grenola · 26/07/2023 19:48

It just doesn’t ever feel consistent…. I don’t feel loved and feel like I just have to give to much all the time and there is nothing topping up my tank.

I love them so fiercely but I don’t feel loved at all. I guess that is what I meant in that it’s a very important, probably the most important relationship in the world. But it’s so up and down in terms of that loved feeling.

I want to be loved by an adult.
and I’m sick of pretending Im ok without that. And that maybe there is something wrong with me :-(

OP posts:
TreesWelliesKnees · 26/07/2023 20:25

I get it OP. Lone parent here. Sometimes I just want someone to look after me for a change.

But my experience of relationships in the last few years is that that's not what ends up happening. It's just more demands and expectations, more squeeze on your precious time and resources. Not worth it ime. What has helped is radical self care and self love.

Noicant · 26/07/2023 20:45

How old are your kids OP? It’s not a two way street with kids at all but you will have your own time again x

Original poster
Grenola · 26/07/2023 20:50

They are 19, 8 and 5. I had at least 4 years of an unhappy marriage, so I just feel so ready to just share my life with someone I love.

it’s just hard I find being older and a parent, and being so aware of what can go wrong ect….. I can’t see how I will ever have that with someone. I’m sad that I won’t have that:

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Original poster
Grenola · 26/07/2023 20:58

That’s me as 10,8 and 5. Not 18 x

OP posts:
fabnot · 08/08/2023 14:53

How are you by now @Grenola? My kids are 16, 14 and 8. The last years of my marriage were not good and it would be nice to have a nice new relationship. Especially as single friends are not single by now.

Original poster
Grenola · 08/08/2023 19:41

@fabnot
I’m feeling more hopefull for the future I guess. I rode the wave of a few weeks of loneliness and having such an empty tank.

it’s hard, I feel trapped. I try to focus on everything I have an feel positive. I am happy in many ways and independent and free from a bad marriage, my divorce was finalised yesterday. But I am willing to admit, That I want the addition of an adult person in my life!

I think it’s ok for us to want that; and say it out loud. I’m sick of being ‘I’. But I won’t be with just anyone

OP posts:
fabnot · 08/08/2023 23:17

It's good you are feeling more hopeful for the future. You have your children and you are enough on your own. Being happy as you are will attract someone to you.

The loneliness come and goes for me. I try to keep busy and it helps.
Like you I also feel trapped at times. But I also felt trapped in my marriage and would never want to be back there. I also don't just want anyone.
Keep positive @Grenola

Original poster
Grenola · 09/08/2023 08:30

Thank you @fabnot
i guess it about not fearing these feelings and being able to have perspective around them. Sometimes that is possible and other it is easy. Life isn’t linear is it, or predictable. I will try to hold on being able to come thru these feelings next time they hit. X thanks for checking on me x

OP posts:
fabnot · 09/08/2023 17:02

I know how it is when you are single - coupled up friends and family tend to forget you are on your own and could be lonely. Life can change in an instant so this is how life is now but will change. Divorce changes how you think and live your life too. I think only those that have experienced divorce can fully understand. Life has changed but it will be better @Grenola

Original poster
Grenola · 09/08/2023 17:10

Thanks @fabnot xxx yeah mr friends don’t understand, I’m sure they mean well. But they don’t get it and I find no one really wants to hear you are struggling!

just keep going don’t we x

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