NC as so outing.
I came out of a really difficult relationship where I was living in an isolated place, including during lock down. To cut a long story short, I developed a fear of swallowing (food) plus terrible panic attacks. I've been living with this for 5 years. I was in another country and the GP there gave me xanax (a sedative) to take on an as and when basis.
I came back to the UK and thought that I would improve, being back home and out of that situation, but its been 2 months and I'm as bad as ever. I'm beginning to worry I won't ever be "fixed". Hypnotherapy isnt working. I went to see my new GP in the UK and he suggested I go on prozac while waiting to be seen for CBT.
I'm scared to go on that so i just said no but ill think about it. Apparently it can make anxiety worse, and I'm scared of being on medication for the rest of my life or turning into a zombie. The xanax isn't really helping (it's the lowest possible dose, I take it maybe once a week when the panic is so overwhelming, it just cuts off the panic). I don't know what to do about myself. If the xanax isn't helping me in the long term then how will prozac be any different?
I'm exhausted with myself.