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Feeling down and don't know what to do

2 replies

Catcuriosity26 · 26/07/2023 10:04

Hi everyone,

I have been through alot recently and I need to take off my negative thoughts and get some advice if possible.

I have been married for two years now but I know my partner for 15 years. We tried having babies but following tests we discovered that my DH is infertile due to Klinefelter syndrome(extra x chromosome). We did IVF with sperm donor and I lost pregnancy. DH is displaying symtoms of the syndrome and now since I nnow about the diagnosis I start to notice more.
I am making all decisions in the relationship and I feel sometimes I am a parent not a partner.

We don't have support from his family. SIL and MIL tried to brake our relationship and they are both considering DH incapable of making his own decisions. They think that I am taking advantage of his money.
I am a professional working full time with a BA and I have my own salary and a supportive family but unfortunatelymy family is away. My husband is self employed, he works hard but I am not relying on his money at all. Other than his salary he doesn't own/have any financial asset. What is bothering me alot is that he is actually not rich and his family is awful to me acusing me off all sorts of negative actions.
My husband is still in touch with MIL and SIL and I am not comfortable with this. I try to understand it's his family but they are both so mean and treat him so low.

Since we got married we bought a flat and have a mortgage on it, we are both working hard and try saving money. Luckly DH would listen to my ideas and would support my decisions.

Now I know I am awful but I thought about myself in 10 years... not having children and thinking about this makes me extremely sad. I don't want to be childless but I don't want to leave my husband either.
I know that as a family now we are both in the same ship with same problem but I can't stop thinking about giving up opportunity of being a mother by staying in this relationship.
I don't know want to do, I have a stabilityin life now, married with a roof above my head but I feel I am torn apart.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 26/07/2023 12:08

Stripping away everything else it's a straightforward (but horrible) choice - stay with your husband and accept you will not have children or taking your chances on finding another partner who is willing and able to start a family.

What does your gut say?

ClawedButler · 26/07/2023 12:12

Oh mate, that sounds really tough.

I agree with @Eyesopenwideawake though - strip everything else away, and listen to your gut. Major decisions like these should be based on what your gut tells you, not what you think you "should" do.

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