Feeling crapp again

[TeriblePerson]

Serial poster with poor mental health. Want to jump onto the motorway again. Jealous of a acquisantance who committed suicide. Hate my children. Want to die. Hate myself. Nothing is OK. I am rubbish at life. I can't cope. I want to be dead. There is no help. There is noone to help. Just me and I can't do it. I can't cope.

Hi there. I'm so sorry that you are feeling like this and have these huge struggles with your mental health. How old are your children?

I know there's a lot of pain there but are there any things, however small, that you do or could feel grateful for to reframe your current situation even just a little? Things about your children that are positive, even if overall you dislike them and Thier behaviour at times?

They're fine adolescents. I am just unable to parent them alone to because I'm not a good parent, I have poor mental health at times so I'm angry and impatient at them. I'm upset I've raised them to be rubbish people - they don't read or anything, just lie in bed on their devices. I don't have the energy to do anything. I feel overwhelmed and completely on my own.

@TeriblePerson i empathise. I really do. A lot of things you have said resonate with me a lot.
have you had any medical support for your mental health? Sounds like the place you’re in you can’t just drag yourself out alone. 💐