Never felt so low - tips on picking myself off the ground please

[Blankspace4]

Been on sertraline for 8 weeks, started on 50mg now up to 100mg

Today I just feel so incredibly low. Like the drugs aren’t working at all, I don’t even feel tearful just full of despair, lonely and that I can’t see the point anymore. I’m not feeling suicidal, just empty and blank with an overwhelming sadness.

Nothing in my life is going well. Relationships, family, work, all terrible. I don’t know what I can do to feel better 😢

Are you getting exercise, fresh air? I find these things help lift my mood.

Maybe look for a new job and don't limit yourself geographically, have a fresh new start somewhere else and reinvent yourself.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It feels really hard to just plod on sometimes, but that's all you can do until the awful despair eases a little (which it will. But it doesn't feel like it will at the time).

You mention all areas of your life feel rubbish at the moment. Have you been able to access any talking therapy? I wonder if that might help, in tandem with the medication. Though I say this as someone who knows how difficult it can be to access therapy.

Living in the moment helps in bad times so doing something that is calming, like yoga, craft, gardening, walking, deep breathing, meditation, even cleaning. Focus entirely on sensations whilst doing it.

I'm sorry. There's a Twitter thread from someone who has really gone through it that might be helpful:

twitter.com/silverpebble/status/1356150739668791297?s=46&t=lVt-WH-GcsPlMCKrCR4ukg

If you've just recently upped your dose of Sertraline, it's ABSOLUTELY normal to feel worse before it gets better. However, if you're thinking of harming yourself, please get help. Otherwise, you should find it gets better soon.

Thank you so much for responding. I had a look at the twitter thread. The images are lovely. I would go out for a walk but it’s absolutely peeing it down with rain outside and I can’t face it. I will get out tomorrow though, even if it’s only to fetch shopping.

I haven’t been referred for any talking therapy but I do think it would help. I’m not sure how to access this, via my GP?

I upped the sertraline 5 weeks ago now which is why I’m confused I’ve taken such a turn for the worst now. I had some horrible side effects to start with and they have mainly settled. I have been drinking more alcohol than I should though, usually most of or a bottle of wine in the evenings, I feel much better after it but then full of despair the day after.

I absolutely won’t harm myself, the only thing I really want to do is sleep

You can self refer to IAPT, depending on where you are based: www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

It is often pretty short-term.

I've done lots of that bottle of wine to get through the evening, OP. I'm now not drinking.

SSRIs don't suit or help everyone. So bear in mind you might need to change which one you're on.

The alcohol also can interfere with the SSRI. Do take thiamin (B1) if you're drinking.

Thank you for the advice. I do want to cut back on drinking but for now it’s a bit of a crutch. I take a multivitamin so will see if that contains the B1 and in what dosage.

I now have a GP check up booked in for next week, it was made very difficult for me to book in advance but the nature of my job means I can’t just call at 8am as advised, I ended up in tears

If you're drinking quite heavily then a multivitamin won't have adequate B1 - need 50 to 100mg/day. You can get it from the chemist.

Or get a strong B complex which can be helpful generally for MH eg solgar.co.uk/products/solgar-vitamin-b-complex-50-high-potency-vegetable-capsules

Struggling to get a GP appointment can be the last straw, can't it.

Sorry you’re struggling OP.

Read the book Brain Energy by Dr Christopher Palmer. It’s been transformational for people I’ve worked with.

I know it may be unpleasant to hear but alcohol is a depressant that is sure to be contributing to your present mood and should be discontinued .
Maybe try allowing yourself a half or quarter of a glass well watered down if you feel you cannot stop immediately. Do talk about this to your GP.
Try to get some sleep, take extra care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up for feeling badly. It is okay to feel down sometimes.

I know re alcohol 😞 strangely when I started on the sertraline I didn’t crave drink much (despite having been a drinker on and off in the past) but recently since mood being low I keep turning to it to unwind whilst watching Netflix in the evening.

Resolving to start afresh and being kind to myself tomorrow. There’s no point in being unkind to my own body and taking pills to try and fix it, is there?

I'm feeling in this place too op - all the things you describe. I am perimenopausal (probably in the depths of it). Not sure what age you are but this certainly doesn't help. I am going throught some sort of existential crisis and definitely the 'what's the point' thing. Mornings are usually the worst.

Every area of my life feels meh except I am grateful for not having any financial worries and for my lovely dc.

The only thing that helps is being close to nature and a bit of physcial excercise. I know the drinking thing too, I also eat chocolate or whatever is a comfort. I realise what is happening and I'm able to halt it but absolutely understand this.

I'm waiting for more therapy and possibly medication. I can't seem to get out of this fug but thanks to the peri, anxiety went off the scale (now thankfully a bit more under control with the help of HRT - which has shown very little other benefit unfortunately).

@butterflypark i am 40 so could be peri. Sorry to hear you are struggling too. May I ask what HRT you have been prescribed and how it is feeling?

I have resorted to wine this evening but limited myself to 2 glasses (rather than a whole bottle) and now drinking a herbal tea before heading to bed.

Sadly no DC here which is part of the sadness for me.

The perimenopause is definitely something to keep an eye out for...I began noticing symptoms when I was 44.

There are options with HRT - gel or patches plus possible testosterone. I currently use the gel but not sure how well it is absorbing.

I hope you have support in real life. I agree talk therapy might be useful but you may need to pay for this on a private basis. If you can afford it, look at it as a form of self care, it can be really useful to run things past an impartial ear.

I'm sorry you are feeling the loss of not having dc, it is a form of grief when it is something you want. I'm not sure what the barrier is to this currently for you - but in biological terms you would need to act quickly.

I guess you have to look at what is in your control to change and go on from there op. Also, do you have any trauma from childhood? This can feed into a sense of loneliness. I'm definitely feel the loneliness thing and I think it is a within thing and outside thing (situational) - not feeling connected in both instances.

Blankspace, so sorry you feel like this, it's awful and anyone who has been through it will only have empathy for you.

I am sorry you did not get to have children although I notice that 50%of my peers now do not have kids and now my kids are teens I see they are all happy with their choice so your feelings on that may change over time. But you are allowed to grieve that not happening as well, it is understandable to feel sad if it is something you wanted.

40s to 50s can be really hard. Can you do some activities with people so you have more social contact as I think that helps but you may not feel like it.