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Mental health

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Original poster

Found myself googling ‘feeling suicidal’

7 replies

Twitatwoo · 20/07/2023 01:47

So tonight my partner and I had a massive argument as I felt he overreacted to my son. We’ve been together 7 years and tonight he went off his head because my son (12)forgot to close the fridge door. He is forgetful and always has been but tonight for some reason my partner was so angry about it.
I defended my son, stating it’s not his fault he forgets things, I think he has ADHD but since I had planned to ask the school to assess him a lot has happened with my grandad, daughter, work etc. I don’t feel like I have the energy anymore. I feel like every day, week, month is a battle and I honestly feel everyone would be better off without me.
If anyone who’s felt this way before has come out of it, how did you get to the other side?

OP posts:

24Dogcuddler · 20/07/2023 05:09

Please speak to someone at the Samaritans if you are feeling so desperate. I’m sure their number came up if you Googled that.

This sounds like part of a wider problem than a row over a fridge door left open.
Is there anyone close that you can speak to?

Make an appointment to see your GP and discuss how you are feeling. You might need medication or therapy. It does sound like you are dealing with a lot at the moment.

If you feel that your son’s needs are needing investigation I’d also make him an appointment at the GPs or mention it when you go. Waiting lists for assessment are very long currently.

Your partner sounds close to the edge going “ off his head” and getting angry. Not a good environment for you and your children to be living in.
You probably aren’t in the right mind set to be making decisions about the future but please put your children and yourself first.

LadyJ2023 · 20/07/2023 05:35

Tbh I probably understand your partner at age 12 the fridge door should be shut it having been repeatedly told to do so and I'm simply saying that because we have a 13 and he does the same until recently cost us a fortune when everything defrosted and yes hubby did get very annoyed but since then son hasn't done it again. Also I would never defend any of our children when there being told off in any circumstance if hubby has dealt with it. If I disagree slightly then I wait till the children aren't in the room and we discuss it. I think your feeling bad about other things and need to see a Dr and get some help look after yourself please

Orchidflower1 · 20/07/2023 05:44

Sorry you’re feeling so low. Please reach out to people irl to get help. 💐

Billybagpuss · 20/07/2023 05:46

How old are you? I had a few moments like that during perimenopause when I didn’t realise that is was a thing. Being the sandwich generation doesn’t help either as very easy to get overwhelmed with trying to juggle child care, dealing with elderly parents etc. your DH sounds unhelpful at best. Is his reaction normal or was it a one off.

good news is I’m loving life now. Dc are older and settled still have elderly parents but my head is in a much better place.

WorriedMum2323 · 20/07/2023 07:51

Twitatwoo · 20/07/2023 01:47

I felt like this 2 months ago. I felt life was too hard and I wanted out.

Go to your doctor, 2 months later on anti-depressants I am a different person with a different outlook on life. Good luck

MNHQ

HopeMumsnet · 20/07/2023 08:01

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

PostOpOp · 20/07/2023 14:22

since I had planned to ask the school to assess him a lot has happened with my grandad, daughter, work etc. I don’t feel like I have the energy anymore. I feel like every day, week, month is a battle

You're exhausted. Probably close to a burn out. Feeling down or depressed is part of the symptoms. It's not like there's something abnormal about you, you've had a LOT on your plate and it sounds like home life isn't a soft place to land to give you a break either.

and I honestly feel everyone would be better off without me.
They absolutely most definitely wouldn't. That's the exhaustion talking because you feel like you're failing. You're also not! You've just got too much on your plate. By "just" I'm not diminishing it. I'm trying to indicate that it's actually a relatively natural consequence (you're not alone in that), but it's obviously not ok.

Medication may be the way forward, but so may a bit if time being signed off where you can rest.

Either way, you should try to speak to your GP and every time you hear the voice that says everyone would be better off without you, remind yourself that it's not true, the voice likely comes from a place of mental exhaustion.

It sounds to me too like far from everyone being better off without you, you're the glue holding everything together AND the shock absorber between relations. That's a lot for one person before they even get to their own life!

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