How to deal with past trauma

[Alwaysatfault]

I've been having online counselling through work after an incident with a colleague brought up some past trauma I thought I had dealt with. Clearly I haven't & the counselling has brought up some difficult issues. I've been really emotional since today's session. I want to put this stuff in a box & leave it there. Facing up to it & revisiting it weekly makes me so upset. Can I move on without dealing with this or is it always going to haunt me? Nobody can answer that but it feels better to write it down.

If you put in a box you will always know it's there. Trauma is the mind's way of processing whatever caused it, for the simple aim of avoiding it in the future so it is a protection rather than a torment (although it feels very much like the latter).

When the mind can't figure out how to resolve what happened it can get stuck, running the event(s) over and over again from all angles which is why you get flashbacks, dreams and unwanted memories.

How old were you when the trauma happened? If you were young then the part of the mind trying to deal with it will be looking at it from a child's cognitive and emotional perspective. Looking at it from a distance can help put it into context.

If there's no chance of understanding what happened - either because it was just so random or because the people involved can't/won't explain their actions - ask yourself this; if you were given a jigsaw puzzle to complete, knowing that there were pieces missing or that paint had been split on part of the picture, would you try anyway or just accept that there was absolutely no point? The mind will only try to find an answer if there's one to be had.

Accepting that 'it' happened but can't ever happen again and that you were in no way responsible can allow your mind to let it go.

Thank you for the reply. I wasn't a child, I was in my forties. I was in a very abusive relationship, physically & mentally. A colleague was very aggressive towards me & it triggered a lot of feelings & I'm left feeling anxious.