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Anyone with Complex-ptsd could you give me some advice?

12 replies

Lovel2 · 18/07/2023 08:05

Is there anyone on here who suffers with this?

Im struggling at the moment. When I left my abusive marriage and started counselling she told me I looked to have complex-ptsd. I freaked out and didn’t ever go back. My symptoms are causing me trouble at the moment.

OP posts:
orangeleavesinautumn · 18/07/2023 08:06

was she qualified to say that? Maybe speak to your GP?

Isthisexpected · 18/07/2023 08:10

If you read some of Deborah Lee or Paul Gilbert's books on compassion you'll hopefully see that recovery from complex PTSD is absolutely possible. Can you afford a private clinical psychologist? NHS services are very stretched and finding one that will allow you to have the recommended number of sessions from NICE guidance is often only possible if you're acutely unwell (eg suicidal, not eating, on the verge of homelessness etc).

Random789 · 18/07/2023 08:13

I'm wondering why you would feel so upset by this particular description of your difficulties? I suppose that any 'formal' characterisation of a set of mental health difficulties looks a bit scary in black and white, but why would this one be so distressing for you?

Also, I don't think you should attach too much significance to the counsellor's use of the term. It doesn't sound like it was any kind of an authorititive diagnosis, just an attempt to summarise and redescribe to tyou the difficulties that you had reported to her.

All of these labels are approximations in any case. Take what is useful from them, without allowing them to define you.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 18/07/2023 08:37

I was/am in similar situation. I experienced abusive behaviour for years but didn’t recognise it. After I divorced I continued on until an unrelated event hit me and precipitated in me having full on PTSD symptoms

no I wasn’t diagnosed by a psychiatrist. And only a psychiatrist can do that. But part of reason for my abuse was that my ex developed severe and enduring mental health problems and was under care of psychiatrist and mental health services. I knew full well how stretched and under resourced the nhs mental health teams are and know that chances of getting a diagnosis unless you are in full mental health crisis are actually zero. A GP is not qualified nor is a psychologist.

but, like most mental health diagnosis cPTSD or PTSD itself are diagnosed through a series of check sheet observations. There are no physical blood test etc to base a diagnosis on. I spent 20 years seeing my ex’s diagnosis being changed subtly within the psychotic spectrum of illlnesses based on what each of psychiatrists he saw personal opinion and interpretation of those observations was. So, a mental health diagnosis is often less than perfect and for a lot of,people they don’t fit into neat categories defined by the mental health diagnosis tool.

BUT,what the diagnosis does is point people to what treatments are likely to work best. And that’s crucial and powerful.

You may or may not have cPTSD , unless a psychiatrist has diagnosed you and I doubt that as cPTSD is relatively “new” diagnosis. But, if a qualified member of the psychologists professional body states they think it’s likely you have this, that is helpful and something to work with. If anyone else has diagnosed you with it, it’s purely guesswork and to be taken with a pinch of salt- but maybe a prompt to get a session with a trained psychologist to get their opinion.

if you are experiencing symptoms that are similar to cPTSD , then treatments developed for PTSD could be helpful and worth trying. The main one is EMDR which is pretty unique to PTSD, very peculiar in terms of how and why it would work, but has very strong clinical evidence to show it does do something to help even if we don’t know how. There are also some other fairly unique approaches to talking therapies with PTSD .

I had a lot of therapy and counselling over 20 years when trying to deal with consequence of living with someone with an acute and severe mental illness : including CBT , family intervention etc. Personally I found them all not very helpful- I used to describe it as “emotional bulletin” (please no offence to those suffering from eating disorder) . Emotions and mental health distress build up, go to therapy, talk, “throw up” all that emotion in very powerful ways, get relief for about an hours, and then all the emotions and problems build up agian. It actually didn’t ever “fix” anything for me.

EMDR did. It took a LOT of sessions. I had to work hard to buy into some of the rather more bizarre aspects, but then made a breakthrough and has been life changing .possibly even life saving

I don’t really care whether I had cPTSD . I clearly had issues as a result of traumatic events arising form abusive situations, I was clearly still struggling with the ramifications of that even after I left that situation, and how that played into how I dealt with stressful events and issues coming up on my life now. The treatment path for PTSD helped me. There’s stil work in progress, but the difference has been massive. So, I’m good with whatever you want to call it

so, move past the diagnosis as a “label”. It doesn’t matter. But it may be helpful to acknowledge to hunt out appropriate treatments for PTSD that you can try, as opposed to other treatments like CBT , which could help you. You have little to loose but money . And yes, the money is an issue as proper treatment for PTSD needs a registered approved psychologist and they charge a lot of money. It’s unlikely you’ll get it on NHS , without a long wait and jumping through a lot of formal diagnosis loops. Don’t go to anyone who’s not a registered psychologist or calls themselves a “counsellor “- they’re not qualified to work on these techniques like EMDR and could do more harm than good. Search on line carefully, a good psychologist will have a number of techniques and tools they can use beside EMDR that they try out with you until they find what works best for you.

Lovel2 · 18/07/2023 08:38

I was deep in ptsd symptoms at the time and couldn’t cope with it all. Yes she was a registered therapist with 30 years working in abuse charities.

OP posts:
Appleofmyeye2023 · 18/07/2023 08:38

Bullemia not bulletin 🙄

Lovel2 · 18/07/2023 08:49

I was just wondering what advice anyone can give when they find their emotions getting overwhelming?

OP posts:
coffeeisthebest · 18/07/2023 09:51

I would really recommend that you find someone to work with on this one OP. The therapist was trying to reach you perhaps and let you know she was hearing what you were saying. These more complex emotions are often hard to unravel on our own, which is why a companion can help to carry the load a little rather than facing it completely on our own. It helped me to know that some of my issues relating to trusting anyone was actually the narrative of my trauma which was about doing this all on my own. It has been very, very hard to trust, but please know that it is life changing if you can reach out. There is an element of needing to take a bit of a leap of faith to get there though. I wish you all the best OP.

Lovel2 · 18/07/2023 10:49

I’ve always thought I could fix it alone. But I’m realising when I’m triggered I don’t realise till often it’s too late. Lately I’ve been fixated on why people don’t like me. I’ve no real proof they don’t, I just sense something and that’s that.

OP posts:
Lovel2 · 18/07/2023 10:52

I end up with a huge amount of people, especially family or extended family I avoid as they bring up feelings in myself that overwhelm me. Lately it is my sister in law. She gets lots of support from her family and I’m intensely jealous. She has done nothing to me but the feelings it gives me are just awful. So I just want to avoid but that’s just not fair and not helping me.

OP posts:
coffeeisthebest · 18/07/2023 11:05

So you see it which is amazing, but I suppose it is that discomfort of living with it and realising it is restricting you that you could potentially get some support with as it is likely similar feelings will emerge in therapy. Otherwise unfortunately I found my tendency is just to avoid the world which became incredibly isolating. This work is bloody hard though OP, no doubt about it. I wish you well.

coffeeisthebest · 18/07/2023 11:07

Also, slightly more complex, but what you are sending as dislike may well be something else. And it is well worth exploring this.

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