Checking out of job, can't face it, but I'm a single mum and need the sage

[lousyatchoosingnames]

So I now hate my job, been here almost 2 years, great at the beginning but over time I've just realised the pace is slow and I can't get motivated at all. Others are the same but they are happy to take it easy, go with the flow.

I won't say what it is as it's outing, I don't want colleagues to see this. Anyhow, I want out, and now that my mind is made up, wild horses can't drag me to do anything for work. I don't know why this happens, I just can't make myself do something I don't want to.

But I really need the wage, I'm being paid to do the job, I just can't make myself do it now I've made my mind up.

I think this must be a sign or poor mental health, would you agree? Others seem able to soldier on and do what's necessary. I feel like going to the doctors and getting some drugs which will do something, anything, to change my state of mind.

How do I fix this?

Need the wage, not the sage, lol, people probably think I have a strange sage addiction??

Just start looking for and applying for new jobs. Do the best you can at your current job in the meantime to keep your morale up and to increase the chance of a good reference

Yea I have started applying, but in terms of my current job, I just feel like I hate it so much, it feels like im holding my arm to a naked flame it's so much effort to do it at all. I wish I could just walk.

I don't know how others can force themselves to do something they don't want to do: I think I'm really awkward, or belligerent or something. I don't want to let anyone down. I just can't bear another second of it ...

Can you use some of your work time to do other things such as study, life admin, goal setting? And squeeze your actual work-work into a smaller amount of time.
Or come up with a work related project that interests you.

I'm similar in that I really struggle to do things I don't want to do. I suspect I have ADHD though.