Considering antidepressants

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Ive spent as long as I can remember not feeling great but always put it down to other things or just my personality.

I have 3 children, 2 under 5 and very close in age so things have been quite hard work over past few years. We don’t have anyone who babysits so don’t get any nights off.

Im constantly tired. Everything feels like a struggle. I was low on folate and on folic acid however that’s not stopped as levels rose. I feel so irritable. I can’t stand my partner. Some of it I feel is understandable and some maybe not so much. I’ve always suffered from anxiety but socially I have been struggling. It takes a lot for me to go and meet anyone if I need to and afterwards I have such a comedown where I feel so tired and low. I spend the full time going over every single thing I’ve said and how I’m not good enough and how everyone hates me. Some mornings now my initial thought is I don’t want to get up and do it all over again. I don’t know if this is just the stage of life I’m at with kids being young and me being with them 24/7 but I feel like such a rubbish mum for not loving every minute.

I just really want to feel better and I don’t know if this is just who I am or if some medication would help me. Last time I spoke to doctor she said I’d need to commit to a year of antidepressants to see how they worked as they could make me worse. She gave me propranolol for anxiety which I do see a difference with but I don’t feel better in myself.

Ah I really feel for you. I know exactly what that’s like. I was in a similar boat and also dealing with a relationship breaking down. I’d tried several different ADs a few times before but always had an allergic reaction, came out in a rash etc.

My GP said we should try again at a very low starting dose of Citalopram and this time I didn’t get a rash. My mood improved amazingly within a couple of weeks, and I didn’t suffer any real side effects (except a slightly reduced orgasm, but still able to, and still enjoyable!). I was prepared to feel worse or have physical side effects etc but was lucky not to.

I tried coming off them after a few months, had the odd headache but nothing unbearable. But I did get snappy and irritable again, so went back on them. I know that snappiness may have passed if I gave it a while to settle but I didn’t feel the need to stop taking them, it was more just a case of forgetting to collect my prescription and thinking I may as well not.

I know some people get awful withdrawal - I know someone who got what they call ‘brain zaps’, electrical shocks in the head several times a minute. Which sounds horrendous. But there are ways to taper off them and avoid the worst of the effects once you’re done taking them.

Went back on and after a while doubled my dose, again no bad effects, still able to orgasm, mood much improved. I can still cry when needed. But I don’t weep at the drop of a hat anymore!

I have no plans to stop, but if at some point I do, I’ll just be glad they got me through a really difficult patch and would always recommend people at least try them, with the caveat that people around you know the increased risk of eg suicide etc when you first start taking them and keep an eye on you. Not something I ever had, but I know it’s a symptom of your brain chemistry changing so something they have to mention as a possible side effect.

I know loads of people who take them happily with no plans to stop, so if you do give them a go I hope they work well for you too. If not there are other things you can do, therapy etc but with the cost of that compared to just settling your anxiety to enable you to deal with the issues in your own time, I think ADs are a god send

I would suggest you commit to a 6 month trial. But you need to start a mood diary so that you can see your progress.
Commit to it ! I’m doing the same with HRT, I don’t really want to be on it, but I can see a gradual change.

Thank you for the replies.

@BigPussyEnergythank you for sharing your experience.
I think I’m overthinking it and worried about side effects/ending up relying on them. My mum is also not one to speak to on the subject. She doesn’t really see the need in antidepressants and thinks things could be “a lot worse” which I do know and feel guilty over but I can’t shift the way I feel.

@DustyLee123 thank you. I’ll try and do this as I can see how it would benefit.

I’ll be honest. I was like your mum before! My son went on them a few years ago when he was struggling with work stuff etc and I didn’t want him to, I thought he should deal with the problem at its root rather than chemically altering his body to deal with a crappy situation! But having tried them when I was at my lowest point I can now see what a difference it makes. Of course if there are things you can change then it’s worth trying that too, but saying it could be worse is belittling the real situation you’re in. Of course it could always be worse, but if it helps you to be better then why not?