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Mental health

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I’ve never felt this low

3 replies

July56 · 15/07/2023 18:13

Things have been tough with my 23 yr old dd recently but we’re both grieving the loss of my husband and her dad 6 months ago. She finds it hard to talk or deal with how she’s feeling and that results in me taking the brunt of it. I understand that but recently she’s been very angry about things in the past and has rubbished everything about her childhood. She’s angry at me as a mother and how I brought her up. I’m so upset about how I was, quite strict, didn’t let her do everything she wanted just because everyone else was, but because she’s so angry there’s no room for forgiveness or to prove I can do better.
I don’t agree with how she remembers everything and do remember lots of happy times, I’ve supported her and always been behind her and have done everything to care for her in the last 6 months.
Today I just feel so alone, I have no one I can turn to that will support, understand or care about me. I know how pathetic that sounds. I’m so upset about everything and desperately miss my husband and wonder why I’ve been left here alone, it feels like a punishment. Sorry I’ve got to tell someone.

OP posts:
pinguins · 15/07/2023 18:17

I just wanted to send you an unmumsnetty hug.
Your daughter is vomiting emotions because you're her safe person (and she's just lost her other one). Just let her vomit and hold her hair and rub her back, she'll feel differently in six months or a year. My sister was the same when our mother died suddenly and she was the same age. Just pure rage directed at me over things that she'd blown out of all proportion and everything was my fault. A year later we were mostly back to normal but obviously she can't unsay all that stuff.
It's so hard when you've lost someone so important to you and you also don't have that emotional support anymore. I'm so sorry for your loss.

pinguins · 15/07/2023 18:21

Just let her vomit and hold her hair and rub her back
Metaphorically, obviously.

July56 · 16/07/2023 20:04

@pinguins thank you so much for your supportive reply. You’re right it is pure rage and somehow I need to not affect me as much x

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