I have a meeting with my manager this morning to decide whether or not to continue with a part of my job which I took on in January. I’m not very good at it partly because I haven’t had enough training and partly because I’m not coping with the additional hours (I work part time).
I have bipolar, EUPD and am waiting for an autism assessment. My boss is aware of this. I’ve been accused in the past of playing the mental health card when I’ve had to be signed off by the dr when I’ve got a rough patch and that I seem fine once I’ve had a week off relaxing. The truth is I’m not fine and I struggle daily to get through. I get up at 5.30am everyday because I know I that my anxiety is really bad in the mornings and I need time to centre myself before I wake the children up / go to work and I celebrate when I’ve got it together enough to have a shower.
I’m proud of myself for holding down a job but the extra stress is really effecting me (I had to take diazepam last night to sleep which is something I haven’t done for a long time).
I guess what I’m asking is should I tell my boss all this so he understands I’m not just taking the easy way out and that just because I don’t share how much I struggle it doesn’t mean im coping.