How to overcome depression and overwhelm

[Greenspace81]

After a few weeks of moderate depression, I am desperate to reconnect to myself, but I don’t know how. I’ve experienced periodic depression for half of my life but in this recent bout, I feel like I’ve lost myself completely.

After becoming a single mother at a relatively young age, raising my son with little support while doing three degrees back to back I’m feeling like I do not have the energy to keep propelling myself forward. Recently my doctorate was confirmed, I’m in a great job and was on the way to achieving other lifelong dreams, but I’ve lost my enthusiasm and excitement for life. I’ve restarted therapy but don’t want to try the meds offered by my GP (I can’t afford to get worse before I get better, plus I seem extra sensitive to hormonal changes).

My family of origin is extremely complex and tragic, so I have little family support. A serious family event in the past couple of years made me realise that I may be responsible for caring for my parents and brothers (who have complex health issues and disabilities) in the nearish future. I also feel I do not have any genuinely close or emotionally fulfilling friendships.

In recent months I’ve begun doing new things for me like going to the gym which I’m enjoying, cultivating new hobbies and exploring my newly-realised (gay). But now I’m struggling to motivate myself to do basic tasks as well as to pursue the vocation that I truly love.

How do others self-soothe during emotion meltdowns, overcome overwhelm and climb out of depression?

First of all - bloody well done for achieving your doctorate, I hope you are seriously proud of yourself. Sometimes when we get to the top of a difficult mountain it can feel like an anti-climax, especially if the peak brings into view a new, higher climb ahead, your other dreams. That's natural so take a breather and look back at how far you've come.

Secondly, if you had, and still have, little family support why do you think it will fall to you to care for your brothers and parents? Support is a two way street so think carefully if you want to commit yourself to people who have shown you little regard.

You might find this video on depression interesting;

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Thanks so much for your reply I really appreciate it.

I watched the video and some of it resonates, however I just feel that if I get back to myself I will be fine as my work brings me so much fulfilment when I’m able to do it. I’m just unsure of how to do that, though there are some good ideas on other threads.

As for the care question, my parents migrated here in their early twenties, are now divorced and most of their families are elsewhere. They currently do not have partners, many friends or anyone else who can care for them, and the same for my brothers, who are currently each cared for by my ageing parents.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents and brothers but you have your own life, your career and your children - all of which must be your first priority. If you weren't around the State would be required to provide care for them so this is something you might want to explore. You can't support an inverted pyramid.