Psoriasis is making me suicidal

[ShadowPuppets]

I developed psoriasis after the birth of my second child last year, it’s been mild until the last couple of months. It’s now severe, all over my body and face. I can’t move without it cracking and bleeding. I’m itchy every second of the day. Whenever I leave the house people stare at me. One section in my cleavage has a fungal infection. I can’t sleep. I can’t have sex. Work have agreed I can WFH until this flare is under control. But I can’t see it ever happening. I have a private consultant appointment on Wednesday but my private medical insurance won’t cover it and I can’t afford private treatment so I’ve no idea what happens next.

It’s been the hardest year of my life since youngest was born - I had PND, relationship has been tricky, DH lost his job, money worries etc. I’ve lent on DH so much and I really don’t know how much more I can take. I have great family and friends but they’re all going through their own shit at the moment.

I know my beautiful DD and DS need me here but I look like a monster. I’ve got no energy to do anything, I don’t want to leave the house, I’m skipping lunch today because we don’t have any food in and I can’t face going to the shop because my face is bleeding and I look like a freak. If this is what my life is now I don’t want to go on. I don’t know why I’m posting but I’m at home alone crying on my bed, leaving bloodstains everywhere and wondering what I did to get dealt such an unfair hand. I don’t know how I can go on.

Hi OP. I have psoriasis and also work in a medical field. Over the counter treatments won't touch this. However, there are several really effective treatments that can be prescribed. I know it's really hard but don't despair, this can and will get sorted by a dermatologist.

Thank you everyone you’re being so kind - I don’t know what I was expecting but I’ve felt so alone with this and it really helps to know you’re out there.

@bumblebee2235 I’m sorry you have this bastard thing. My sister had moderate psoriasis and light therapy got hers under control but mine is a lot worse than hers was and I’m not sure if I’ll be a candidate for it, guess I’ll find out on Wednesday

@notalltheanswersbutsome thanks, no antihistamine, I’ve been worried that if I started something before the consultation it might muck up working out what helps and what doesn’t, but I’ll look into that one

@begonebegone thanks, I’ve heard the link - I know this is the mood talking but it just feels so unfair if I have to give up bread forever, why is this happening to me etc. I’ll chat to the consultant about it

@NeverDropYourMooncup thank you so much for posting that, I’m usually so logical and it’s just failing me a bit at the moment - your post is really helping me go through it sensibly

@Branster thank you for sharing that, I really want to believe I can find a solution, just feels very dark right now

@LanaDelReyGigChauffer thank you that’s so kind of you.xxx

www.psoriasis-association.org.uk/forums/topic.aspx?ID=368

Oh I have it and some flares are so awful, but they will pass, I promise you they will. OTC stuff will do jack, there are many options to explore with the dermatologist, not all of them will work for everyone, but some will work for you. As others have said, also allergies and food (I have to cut out dairy and wheat during flares).

And, as PPs have said, go back to the GP about the depression and suicidal thoughts. There is help for that too. I was actually treated with sertraline for psoriasis in the past as my anxiety about it was worsening the flare.

That link is to sufferers discussing taking a trip to the Dead Sea as some have found it hugely beneficial.

You could do your own research to see what Dead Sea products you could buy to add to your own Bath at home

Further reading here

rnsnurse.org/the-magic-of-the-dead-sea-on-resistant-psoriasis/

I don’t have any knowledge about Psoriasis. I don’t know what the research says about why it can be triggered by childbirth. I wonder what that means? Ie. Is it triggered by hormonal changes and is there a way to address that.

im just really sorry OP. Having a second child and just trying to manage is hard enough. I’m really sorry you having to
go through this. I know what it’s like to have something totally take over your life when all you can do is dream of just waking up like you used to. I wish we could help
more. I will be thinking of you and hoping that, like many others, a treatment gets it rapidly under control.

As a fellow psoriasis sufferer (this time on my scalp - this flare started 3 years ago after having my daughter and being in lockdown), I personally find my psoriasis flares with stress and it sounds like you have had plenty of that going on recently, as well as treatment for the psoriasis it might be worth seeing if you can get some support for that.

I currently have a betnovate scalp lotion prescribed and had previously tried a dermalex product from the pharmacy, that one actually got my flare under control back in 2016.

I had light therapy for severe guttate psoriasis all over my body, it can on after a strep throat. I saw the dermatologist privately but light therapy wasn’t available privately so I was referred back to the NHS for treatment so try not to worry about that. It’s getting the initial assessment that seems to be the problem ime. I went twice over the course of a couple of years and haven’t had a significant flare up in a decade.

How horrid. Thank god you will get a consultation soon x

My OH has psoriasis. At the moment it's ok but he has had some awful flares, like you describe and he won't leave the house at all. It really gets him down.

He's had it now for 10 years and we have had ups and downs but learnt a lot.

When you have a massive flare the only thing that will settle that is treatment. There are lots of oral treatments that you can take as well as topical ones. You will certainly need steroids, but it will get better and settle down. Once it does find your trigger which is mostly likely a food. For my OH sugar causes massive flares but we have learnt this over trial and error.

My OH recommends:

the book Radiant by Hannah Sillitoe, this lady has very bad psoriasis and through a very strict regime and got on top of it. It's very strict, my OH could not stick to it but he has learnt a lot from the book regardless and has made dietary changes that have helps.

Dead Sea products by Maliki the soap and moisturiser and shampoo if it's in your scalp.

Epaderm emollient for washing hands and as a cream for the dry skin.

If your skin is very dry having a bath in Dead Sea salts, luke warm for 30 min soak and with the really scaly part gently massage the areas and it will lift off.

Best of luck and it really will get better xxx

In addition to my link above, I'd like to reiterate that psoriasis is an auto immune disease and can be treated with diet and vitamins.

Google Karen Carman, Monmouth - Healing Happens Here.

She knows her shit re auto immune and you can see her on zoom/teams

BTW Karen is someone my sister sees. Therefore I know she's good. But I'm not affiliated with her in any way

Is it guttate psoriasis? It normally does clear up by itself after 6 months to a year. I've had it twice, the first time, it took about 6 months but the steroids etc seemed to make it worse and when I stopped using it, it came back with a vengence. It eventually went on its own. The second time I had a full body outbreak with plaques everywhere except my face, I took something called Slippery Elm Bark (which you can buy in Holland & Barrett) and it seemed to help clear it up much quicker, weeks instead of months. I read that it lines and heals the gut because there is some thought that psoriasis is due to "leaky gut", toxins from the gut leaking into the skin and psoriasis activates as a sort of defence mechanism. Most of all though, try and stay positive that it will clear up.

Sorry you feel so low, I have psoriasis too and know the feeling of thinking you look a monster but I'm sure you don't!

The only thing that's cleared mine is sun beds, they have worked wonders. Of course they are not without risk, if they feel something you can't do. I would get in the sun as much as I could whilst waiting for the appt.

I've had light therapy too but was hard to fit in the sessions around my daily life and wasn't half as effective as the sun bed has been.

Good luck, hope you find a remedy x

Tell your GP and ask to be referred for UV light therapy - you meet the criteria, and it works wonders. I wouldn't bother with creams etc as they can be so hit and miss. 💐

She clearly doesn't if she's making a living flogging snake oil like kinesiology, reiki and other bollocks to desperate people with autoimmune disease.

My husband suffers from psoriasis and struggled for several years with prescription medication that didn't help. It really affected his mental health. After 2 years of waiting he got a dermatology appointment and was given enstillar spray. It's made a huge difference and whilst the patches haven't gone yet they are massively improved.

How much can you afford in terms on ongoing treatment? I think you really need something like methotrexate (plus steroids although they often cause a massive rebound) to get it under control. They're not expensive although you will need monitoring with blood tests (your GP might be able to do that though). Very much worth getting in on the NHS too though as the gold standard treatment (biologics) are hugely expensive. Do you have any joint pain? In my trust, rheumatology are far quicker at seeing people than dermatology and the treatment for psoriatic arthritis is often the same. Sympathy from me, I've had a couple of flares like the one you describe and it's fucking awful

Do not quote me on this, but I've seen someone on TV I think with psoriasis* *and they were recommended to use a capful of bathroom bleach in a whole bath of water. It's very dilute and I think kills whatever bacteria, if that's what I think it was.
It could have been another skin disorder but I don't think so.
If you could research it throughly and take medical advice, then it might be a game changer.

@Startyabastard Psoriasis is absolutely nothing to do with bacteria. I really don't think bathing in bleach is going to be at all sensible (or tolerable) when your skin and cracked and bleeding and weeping.

Psoriasis is crap but it can be helped and will become manageable. Everyone’s psoriasis is different so stories of what worked for others aren’t super helpful. Private appointment is a good way to get treatment sooner.

I wouldn’t risk sunbeds, better to wait for proper light therapy. It is worth getting some sun to see if it helps but only small amounts at a time because if you’ve used topical creams the skin may burn more easily.

Look after yourself, healthy food, fresh air and rest where possible. It will take trial and error but the dermatologist will find something to help.

My sister has suffered with this for the last 20 years. Some times it's better. Some times it's worse.

Right now she is on a super controlled injection (cannot remember what it is called) which keeps the worst at bay and allows her to live a normal life.

But it is shit, OP. It took years before anyone would prescribe it for her.

A couple of relatives of mine have psoriasis. The one who get as much sun to his skin as possible in the summer has the least worst. Literally the moment the sun come out with a bit of warmth in spring his clothes are off as much as he can. Winter is bad for him and has to use steroid cream.
The other one doesn’t get the seasonal improvement.

it really is horrible I hope you find something that works

Like others my psoriasis was mainly being driven by undiagnosed coeliac disease. I went from full body coverage to a couple tiny spots on gluten free diet. But I keep my diet very natural /paleo/minimal junk.