BPD and 'stigma'

[Midnightfeasts]

Everytime I read about BPD, it always mentions the stigma of being diagnosed with it. I don't get this stigma. I think I may have it, and I've been trying to get a diagnosis of some sort for the past 15 years. I'm also waiting to be assessed for autism too. I have had a life full of trauma and I admit I have done some really awful things. Although I believe I am a good kind person at heart. I am awaiting an appointment finally with psychiatrists to be assessed. It was mentioned at my last appointment about the stigma, and I said I didn't care about that. I feel like I've had such an awful life and done so many things I'm ashamed of, that to be told I was suffering with an actual disorder, a mental health condition, that I would be relieved.
And also not like I have a career or social circle anyway. Can anyone else relate.

I suppose I mean I have been at rock bottom and am past caring what anyone thinks of me now, so this or any other diagnosis would not bother me at all.

I think the stigma is because if you told someone that you had a diagnosis of BPD, you may find that they decide that they didn't want to be friends with you or in a relationship with you. But the possibility of this happening shouldn't stop you seeking a diagnosis if you think it would help you OP.

Mmm, but I don't want friends and haven't had any for years. And all my relationships with men have been horrible and abusive so I will be staying single now.

And that's why you don't get it. Other people with BPD do want relationships (platonic and romantic) .

It doesn't just stop there, some people with the diagnosis struggle to be taken seriously/believed with medical issues as well. Not just that , but many are diagnosed with it when the issue is something else and the treatment is useless , or worse damaging, but no one listens.

I was diagnosed with this in 2019, after years of being told I have depression. I do have that as well but not just that. Was also diagnosed with cyclothymia (mild bipolar with much quicker mood changes).
I also had a lot of childhood trauma, which the psychiatrist told me is the likely source of the BPD.
I don't think there is a stigma to it. I don't disclose my mental health issues to anyone I'm not close to, and I've never had any judgement. It explains a lot about why I am the way I am.
I hope you manage to see someone soon who will be able to perhaps give you that diagnosis. ❤️ if that's what you feel it is. For me it was a relief, even though I had never heard of it, or cyclothymia!

Whether you have BPD or ASD you absolutely did not deserve the trauma you experienced and it is very likely that the trauma you experienced had a part to play in the behaviour you are now ashamed of. Even if you don’t have BPD or ASD you ultimately you still need to forgive yourself for these things and have compassion for yourself, and move on as best as you can. Trauma affects every part of our neurology, biology etc. it wreaks havoc with the soul and it is very poorly understood. It causes all sorts of erratic reactions and responses and those are the things to try to work on to get better.

I personally don’t think a diagnosis of BPD does anything to cure the trauma that causes it. That really takes intensive learning about what happened to a person and the effect it is having on their life. Not necessarily via therapy because that is expensive but just reading around these issues and applying that knowledge to making things incrementally better day by day. Mind yourself. You didn’t deserve that trauma.

Thank you for the kind comments. Deep down I did want relationships once. I'm too damaged now I think. I wouldn't tell anyone anyway whatever I was diagnosed with. I've been trying to get help with my mental health for over 25 years. Obviously nothing has really worked, I seem to be getting worse as time goes on and I understand things that have happened. Unfortunately my children have seen things they shouldn't when I was ill.