Secondary School

[weekfour]

My daughter is doing a taster day at the secondary school that i went to tomorrow and I'm on the verge of having a panic attack just thinking about it. She's an intelligent, confident and friendly girl and I'm so worried that she'll have the same shitty experience as me. I feel like I've massively failed by only being able to send her to this school.

I went in the early 90s. Within weeks I was a shell of my former self. I was bullied and soon learnt not to try too hard. I got reasonable GCSEs but was capable of good. No A levels. No degree. I hate my job and could have done better.

DH says the pattern doesn't have to repeat. How do I stop it? I'm literally not functioning. I can tell DH thinks I'm dramatic but he didn't go here and he isn't me. I have to go to a parents meeting tomorrow (after the taster day) but don't think I'll get through the door without a panic attack.

You are assuming that it's inevitable that she will go through the same experiences as you did. Your DH is right - there's absolutely no proof that that will happen.

How did your own parents react to you being bullied?

They didn't do anything. I know that's not helping. But there was also massive pressure not to excel.

How did your daughter get on at the taster day?

Schools change a lot in a short period of time so I would hope from the 90's it's improved. But it's hard for you as it sounds like it's making you re live your time there. You have to deal with that if this is the school she is going to and while dealing with that, try really really hard not to project your fears onto her.

She really loved the taster day.

And I've decided I need to sort my shit out and speak to someone about how it makes me feel.

Good! It IS possible to change the way you think and it will be good for both you and your daughter 😊

Thanks Eyes. I know you're right.