What is my therapist looking for

[Amongstchaos1]

I have recently started private therapy for cptsd amongst other things and have so far only had one session. My therapist has asked me to do something between that session and the next and I’m already feeling like I’m failing as I’m not all too sure exactly what she’s asking for … it’s silly really as I’m sure I’m over thinking it but I’m finding I am getting annoyed with myself so thought I’d ask. 🙈

She asked me that every time I wash my hands I just take a moment to really feel the water, the contact of it to my skin, the way I feel in the moment, thoughts, feelings, etc and take note.
I know it’s probably a ‘grounding technique’ but I don’t ‘get’ it

Anyone use these kinda techniques before and can, I don’t know, explain it ?

It is a mindfulness technique, yes.

It's a way to slow yourself down. When your mind is constantly busy or racing and you feel anxious. It's about trying to 'habit stack' to give yourself a moment a few times a day to just pause and be in the moment. Focus on what you're feeling/smelling/seeing instead of what your mind is busy with. It makes sense that you're struggling to 'get' it, it's like a new muscle, it takes practice and consistency to start to work and feel comfortable. In the beginning it is strange and you will find it hard to remember to do or focus on or see the point in. But as time goes on it will start to get easier and in those moments your mind will start to quieten for a few seconds. I would get some really nice smelling hand soap and hand cream to give you the incentive to keep trying with it. Don't put yourself under pressure to feel anything in particular or have a quiet mind or anything like that. Just accept the moment for exactly what it is. You're right it's a grounding technique and since we wash our hands a lot it's a good idea to do it then. I like to do it when I'm hanging out the washing as well, I just take a moment to smell the cleanness of the clothes and appreciate how nice it will be to have clean sheets/ full clothes drawers etc. Or if I'm out for a walk i try to notice how many different types of birds i can hear calling. Don't put yourself under any pressure with it. You can't 'win' at therapy so there's no right answer or correct way to do things, it's just about trying things until you find what works for you.

Mindfulness.

Yes - teaching your brain to live in the moment.

It will feel silly at first but consistency is key.

for example, when washing your hands-
is the water hot or cold? or warm or cool?
is the water gushing out of the tap or just trickling? does it make a noise as it hits the basin? can you smell the water?
are my whole hands wet or just the palms? all of the fingers?
pay attention to the parts of your hands as you soap them- left palm, right palm, thumb, fingers 1,2,3,4
what is the soap like, its colour? smell? texture? size?

when you really pay attention to what you are experiencing right now, there is less brain space for the worrying or other uncomfortable feelings

Just bringing you back to the moment yeah like others said, mindfulness

The idea is that if you are concentrating on what you physically feel, your brain can’t worry at the same time, so it gives your brain a rest.
it does work, and it’s cumulative, so I was told to put little colored stickers on the kettle, steering wheel, mirror etc to remind me to stop and consciously be aware of physical sensations.
breathing slowly also fools your body into thinking it’s calm.

breathing slowly also fools your body into thinking it’s calm.
😂Or calms you....

OP, persist. Mindfulness takes ages (or it did for me - I'd even taught it before I got the hang of it myself) but is worth it.

Try some you tube videos. You may or may not like Paul Mc Kenna, but I find his videos very effective for relaxing.
another trick is to rub your upper arms as if you are giving yourself a hug.
aaanndd another trick is if you feel yourself welling up or anxious to relax and let it flow through you - DuPont fight it. Bloody scary and difficult to do but really useful. If the feeling isn’t met with any resistance it kind of drains through you and stop’s causing problems. Like rebellious teenagers!