Will I ever be able to stop antidepressants? Feeling so low

[Littlemiss74]

Hi I’m having a difficult time and have no-one I can speak to in person. I’ve been on anti-depressants for years since having my 2nd child. Last year i spoke with ny GP about stopping them & she said to take one every other day which was fine. Sometimes i’d take them even less & then a few weeks ago I realised I’d forgotten to take them for a few days in a row. There was a problem getting my prescription & so as I’d gone several days without it & felt fine I thought I’d try and stop. I used up what I had left & felt fine…until now a few weeks later. I’m constantly on the verge of tears, have been snapping at everyone at home & just feel so angry & overwhelmed.
I am perimenopausal & on HRT which has helped but today after a huge bust up with my husband i feel like I’m on the verge of burnout.
I have a busy job, a tween & a teen & a dog there is so much going on I can’t cope with the day to day things such as the house, food shop, finances. My husband does help but there are always things to do & I feel like I’m getting angry & nagging him. We are not getting on but I know I love him. He knows I struggle with my mental health but he doesn’t really understand it even though I’ve tried to tell him.
I’ve read about wihdrawal from a/ds & it says you can feel this way for a few weeks but I’m wondering if I just can’t live without them.
Does anyone have experience of trying to come off them please?
I am so sick of not being able to be a normal happy person which I should be when I have lots to be grateful for. Feeling pretty desperate right now🥲

It's hard OP, but why do you feel you need to come off them?

A diabetic will always take insulin.

Some conditions are longer term and benefit from medication long term.

If the medication works for you, would it be so bad to stay on it?

Don't be too downhearted, it's possible that you still came off them too quickly and needed to be on a lower maintenance dose for longer. Get back in touch with your gp and agree a plan going forward.

Some people do need to stay on them long term, but that's ok. It doesn't mean there's something inherently wrong with you, it's just like someone with naturally low iron who needs a daily maintenance dose.

Others need to stay on them long term but not forever. I read recently that it's recommended you keep them going for a few months (6?) after you feel you don't needthem anymore and personally I would think twice about stopping them if you know there's a stressful or difficult situation coming up.

You are a normal person, op. Most people find the daily drudgery of family life hard (why do you think many men are so keen to opt out of it??)...Feeling low in response to this doesn't make you ungrateful, just normal because you recognise being unappreciated and put upon.

Your life is hard and stressful - why take medicine to get you through it? Try and make some actual changes so you don't feel so overwhelmed

am perimenopausal & on HRT which has helped but today after a huge bust up with my husband i feel like I’m on the verge of burnout.
I have a busy job, a tween & a teen & a dog there is so much going on I can’t cope with the day to day things such as the house, food shop, finances. My husband does help but there are always things to do & I feel like I’m getting angry & nagging him.

why take medicine to get you through it? Try and make some actual changes so you don't feel so overwhelmed

This can be easier said than done and there's nothing wrong on using an anti depressant to help prop you up while making changes.

Getting HRT right for perimenopause can take time, even with a doctor who's willing to tweak doses and if getting husbands to step up properly at home was easy, half of mumsnet posts wouldn't exist.

Op - I'm sure you can cope without anti depressants, in the right circumstances. That's OK, that's normal. But until you make the necessary adjustments at home to ensure not everything falls to you it's ok to accept that anti depressants help. Don't try and tackle such big issues unsupported.

While there's been useful research lately about how people can find coming off anti depressants difficult, there's a risk the medication ends up demonised. It's all very well telling people to make life changes but it's also common knowledge that it hadn't been harder to do so for decades!

We know more about mental health nowadays. Of course anti depressants have their place, but using them as mother's little helper because women do too much and are.expected to be perfect is not OK in the long term.

If the alternative if ending up suicidal because nothing in life is changing then that is very much a good use of them!

They're not "mother's little helper", they're life savers and the op has more in her life going on than being overwhelmed with housework.

Coming off them really needs to be done as a careful, planned taper. Your GPs advice to take every other day is not helpful as the levels fluctuate.

This from the RCPsych is helpful:

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/treatments-and-wellbeing/stopping-antidepressants

This book is also helpful, but many need to go even slower than he suggests:

www.amazon.co.uk/Antidepressant-Solution-Step-Step-Overcoming/dp/074326973X?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

I'm in the long slow process of coming off venlafaxine at the moment - obviously what i say only applies to that drug. However, it is one that has a lot of problems with withdrawal and needs to be done over a long time. Check if your's is similar. My GP and I have been cutting the dose in vey small increments every 6 months. I'm now down to one tablet every other day but we are using the slow release version rather than the standard one to mitigate this a bit.

A friend who worked in pharma and understood these things did a plan with a GP where she went on another drug - might have been prozac - to help with withdrawal symptoms from the first as the second drug was known to be much easier to come off.

I'd also say that the menopausal years are tough and it might be better to accept the ADs for a bit longer whilst your body settles down.

I openly admit to have been on antidepressants for 28 years since severe PND with my DS1
I was diagnosed as bipolar at 48, so I believe they correct a chemical imbalance in my brain( hypoxia at birth) and they have literally saved my life
Do not see it as a weakness to be on them, but see them as scaffolding which might help you address any stressors which may contribute.
A type 1 diabetic needs insulin for life and I need antidepressants

(I can see why they say don't halve tablets, but as long as it's a normal (not extended release) tablet then I think it's unavoidable, depending which drug you are on.)

I'm 59 and have been on them since having pnd after my second child when I was 26. I've tried repeatedly over the years to come off them, very slowly. It never ends well. I've just had to accept that it is how I am. It doesn't entirely stop the episodes of depression but it certainly helps.

I intend to stay on mine until there are better treatments for depression available. I've successfully withdrawn from them in the past, many years ago (it took me months and months to slowly withdraw).
This time when I started taking them again, I knew that I'd probably be on them forever and I was ok with that. At the time it was life or death for me.

Which one are you on? Did you stop abruptly? I've come off mine a few 5omes and it's not nice. I'm now gonna stay on them forever.

@uncomfortablydumb53 @Mollyplop999
I am the same (still on ads after pnd many years ago - havent been able to stop.)

OP you might find it easier to reduce more slowly