I feel so desperate nearly every day. Like I just want to go to bed and not wake up so that I don't have to deal with the mental and physical pain I'm in. I've suffered a lot of trauma and have a long term illness and never seem to be well. I feel like I can't have the life I want, that life is just passing me by. I can't focus or decide what to do. One day I can be 'ok', the next I'm in despair again. I've had therapy before but nothing is helping. I just want to give up.