Generalised Anxiety?

[Exhaustedandsad]

A couple of months ago my husband announced he wanted to separate, and I really struggled. Eventually last week I ended up at my GP and was prescribed propranolol for the symptoms I described. I have found them extremely effective for the acute symptoms I was feeling due to the current crisis, but they also seem to have really reduced how generally anxious I feel. I think I've come to realise I have spent a really really long time feeling physically anxious, although not really about any specific fear/worry. Is this a thing? To constantly feel like you are in fight or flight mode and not even know it? I didnt realise that stressful feeling was there, until this medication seems to have calmed it and now i notice its absence.

I'm noticing now, and being told by my husband in our therapy sessions, that behaviour that seemed rational whilst experiencing this anxiety really wasn't. I think I have been driving by this underlying feeling of panic to seek constant reassurance and ruminate excessively about things, whilst all the while believing it was totally proportionate to the situation. I dont think it was. Can this medication really have had this much effect? What do I do now? How to I use this window of clarity/calm to make changes so that I don't go back to those thoughts?

What was the behavior that was described as not rational and what would you describe it as now with a calmer mind?

I've definitely felt anxious about things in the past. That feeling usually goes if I've dealt with it.

@JupiterBiscuit constantly ruminating/talking over and over about stressful events without it making any difference to how I felt about them. Reacting a lot more strongly to fairly minor issues than seemed warranted. Assuming the worst about every situation.

With a calmer mind I feel like I was stuck in a very anxious state which was making me feel like I was constantly on the edge of not managing to cope. Like a constant state of panic. That I found fairly small things overwhelming because I was already so wound up all of the time. That I needed to revisit stressful events to try and "solve" them and make the feeling go away, except it didn't work.

I feel like each stressful event added to my anxiety, and it built up over time sort of without my realising until it was having a big impact on my life, but because it snuck up slowly I didnt realise it was happening.

I fully understand how these things can creep up on you and good that the meds are working. Has it altered the course of the separation?

How you deal with it depends on the root cause.

Someone might get very anxious about possible catastrophes because something catastrophic did happen to them in the past. So they're anxious because they're traumatised.

You need to deal with the root cause not the symptoms.

@JupiterBiscuit I don't know. I hope it will, but I am beginning to comprehend how much it has impacted him and how difficult it will be for him to move past that.

Only if it actually is that after excluding other explanations like trauma.

https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

I can't see how propranolol can significantly reduce GAD. I suffer from GAD and am on antidepressants and CBT. CBT is actually really helpful. You can self refer on the NHS.
However, I have recently been put on beta blockers due to another issue. They only remove the physical symptoms of anxiety but not the thought process. It might be that the physical sensations of anxiety feed back into your thoughts and therefore you are now feeling a bit more relaxed. However, I would expect you to feel very anxious if he announced that he wanted to separate and more reassured now that he's willing to try counselling.

@swanling there have been quite a few "difficult" events - surgery, miscarriages, multiple house moves but nothing specificly catastrophic. I think they have just added up over time and left me feeling extremely stressed and anxious.

I was diagnosed with GAD about 7 years ago. It really is absolutely terrible.

Your description of feeling like your reactions to things being rational and proportionate at the time is really recognisable to me. I couldn't just get on with things like other people could. Days and days of replaying everything over the tiniest issue.

I didnt recognise how bad it was effecting me until I got with my current partner 5 years ago. He spent alot of time reading up as much as he could about it when we first got together so he is great at being able to "talk me down", he totally gets it.

I also have propranolol prescribed but only use it on days I know that I'm going to be struggling massively.

I use CBD oil daily and find that really takes the edge off. I've been on lots of meds before and didnt like the side effects.

Have a google about "Adrenal fatigue". Will help explain why your body is reacting like it does.

@Oioicaptain the therapy has been going on for quite a few weeks. I do feel that the physical sensation has been there a lot longer than this specific separation issue. The feeling of being constantly on the edge of panic has gone, which seems to have left me feeling able to think more clearly about situations. For example I previously tried CBT, but became very frustrated that I didn't feel like it was taking my level of distress seriously. I now feel like I could approach CBT from a much calmer place, which seems like it would be more likely to be successful. I dont feel like my anxiety was particularly to do with specific thoughts, more a constant feeling of "flight or fight" - like I'd just done an emergency stop all of the time.

@Nomorebeer22 I have found it very difficult to manage the outside perception that my reaction is excessive, compared to the feeling in my body of basically physical panic. It might have been excessive, but it was absolutely real and I think I have found it very difficult to square that disconnect. Having the physical feeling taken out of the equation has made me realise that without that adrenaline fueled response I feel very different about the events themselves.

Will give you an example of a typical reaction from me that I see as totally reasonable, ranted for days about it. Only after my partner talking it all through with me (took hours) did I realise it was my anxiety.

So will try keep it short. Was in an airport (I dont travel anywhere but was a family emergency so no choice). Huge queue at the bag drop. I started ranting, just to DP but I couldn't stop. Why didn't they open another desk? This is shit service! Why are all the people happy stood here? Since when did shit service become so acceptable! I'm going to email and complain! What's that staff member doing just stood there? Bloody hell, couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.

This rant really went on and on and I thought everyone else was weird by just getting on with it.

That chat with DP made me realise that to most people, queuing for 30 mins in an airport Is normal and its part of the life.

Repeat the above at one scenario or another on almost a daily basis and its exhausting.

I now have a better insight into my mental reactions to things, still cant stop it though unfortunately but DP can say "it's your anxiety, deep breaths" and I may be able to keep the rant to minutes instead of hours.