What therapy do I need?

[Reginaldperrin]

I,m finding myself become increasingly anxious. Ive always been a worrier, but this feels different. I constantly feel in a heightened state, and it doenst take much to set off my fight or flight response.
Im increasingly fearful of bad news - whether its teachers meetings, or opening letters from the doctor and Im finding myself avoiding these situations.

What therapy would best help me. I really really want to change my way of thinking. I dont want to just take medication to deal with the symptoms.
Thanks so much.

Start with having a look at this video about what anxiety is, why we need it and what to do if it's shouting rather than whispering;

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Look up psychodynamic psychotherapy, which is very effective long-term. (Some may recommend CBT, but long-term studies show most progress is undone after a few years for this kind of anxiety. Essentially, you need depth therapy to deal with the root cause, rather than treating the symptoms.)

Not sure of the type but it sounds like something has happened at some point that was scary and shocking and you haven't been able to come to terms with it so are chronically panicking at the thought of a new similar event. Could you be responding as if this previous crisis is about to happen again? I've had similar and it heralded the onset of a major MH episode. Not trying to be scary but if I'd dealt with the root cause (unresolved fear of trauma) I could have avoided getting unwell. Get therapy, it will help and you'll know you are dealing with it.

Ive tried thinking about the root cause. My fathers family are all worriers, so possibly some genetic componant. But my life has been pretty easy tbh.
My mum had trauma as a child and used to shout at us a bit....but wasnt that standard in the 80s??
Other than that, my daughter was poorly as a newborn, and I was in a car accident at 20.

Whats weird is that I can see all these incidents very objectively. I wouldnt say I had suffered any major trauma from any of these events.

I'm not keen on Tim Box's views re anxiety. I mean to say you are either dead or a psychopath is too black and white. He offers very little in resolution.

Im worried about doing psychdynamic therapy in case it makes things even worse. Is it possible that could happen?
How have people managed to beat their anxiety best?
I do all the right things, like eat well and exercise regularaly.

My anxiety can often lead me to catastrophic thinking. I did cbt and it was ok but what really helped was this, it really clicked in place and I have a few printed out for when I spiral.

He says if you don't feel anxiety you are either dead or a psychopath. That's because anxiety is a normal and necessary emotion. If you watch the last third of the video he explains how to work with anxiety rather than shutting it out.

"My fathers family are all worriers"

So was your father a worrier as well?

I agree that some CBT, while it doesn't explore the cause, is essential for managing the symptoms.

A few months on sertraline has cured a few friends who had anxiety creep up on them and it hasn't come back.

Yes my father is a worrier too.

maybe I need to consider medication before therapy?

I really really want to change my way of thinking

OK, so you need to start working on those negative thought patterns, because you know it's not benefiting you. Because we absorb/hear/see/are told more information in the first decade of our lives, but without the capacity to think objectively about it, we can develop negative "Core Beliefs" - the 'truths' we accept without question about who we are, what other people are like and how we see the world.

If your dad is a worrier it's very natural that you've adopted the same way of thinking, but you CAN change this.

Have a look at this article;

https://www.betterrelationships.org.au/well-being/core-beliefs-self-acceptance/

And this video;

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Thats great, thank you @Eyesopenwideawake I will take a look at this

I know a few people who have said that taking sertraline helped calm their anxiety to a point where they could usefully apply therapy techniques to get into the habit of a calmer, kinder mindset and then come off the sertraline once the new thought patterns were habits.

It might be worth discussing with a therapist or a GP.

I come from a family of worriers (all on my mums side) and have had anxiety most of my life. I think, for me it’s a combination of learnt behaviours and maybe something hereditary? I’ve had endless therapy: CBT, counselling, EMDR, hypnotherapy etc. Sadly, very little has helped me. Can I ask how old you are, you mention growing up in the 80’s? The only reason I ask is because I am now 50 and can honestly say that my anxiety has skyrocketed since I hit 45, it’s almost unbearable. I think perimenopause has a lot to do with this. I just got hrt last week and am hoping this may help.

@CableTidy I was just about to post that exact thing!

@Reginaldperrin I would look at the worry tree.

This looks really helpful.

Can you say more about how in practice you manage to 'let the worry go' and 'change the focus of attention' as this is the sticking point for me. Especially if already starting to spiral

This looks really helpful.

Can you say more about how in practice you manage to 'let the worry go' and 'change the focus of attention' as this is the sticking point for me. Especially if already starting to spiral

Talk to a few therapists and see how you feel. A lot of the time it's best to go with a therapist you feel comfortable with rather than the specific type of therapy. A lot of therapists do more than one therapy anyway.

@Partiallyclosed - what triggers the anxiety? What thoughts go through your mind at the time?

Timely new video on anxiety not being genetic;

Sadly, many thinks trigger my anxiety as I have ocd, health anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder and a funotional gut disorder.

For example -

One of mine was about opening letters. My mind would create all kinds of worst case scenarios. Now obviously I can't control what is inside the envelope. So for me it was about saying to myself that whatever was in there already exists and I can't change that now. I had to use that thinking to refocus myself. For a long while I didn't manage money well so I hid from it, avoided looking at bills and statements etc. I refocused myself to actively participate in money, daily checking of balance, creating and monitoring budgets. I'm still bad with money but now big scary bills or bank letters are something I have to worry about less.

I'm most likely not explaining it well

Agree with this. Studies show that the most important factor in therapy "working" is the relationship between the therapist and the client, this "fit" is more important than the modality or type of counselling.

Counsellors that are trained in a range of modalities are integrative therapists, a combination of CBT and psychodynamic modalities is fairly common if that's what you're considering.

Ah, thank you. That actually does make sense to me - I think I was misunderstanding the 'change the focus of attention' bit