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Original poster

Son's leaving

28 replies

ZedM · 22/06/2023 08:14

18yr old leaving in Sept. Maintenance stops; child benefits/credit's stop. 46% of house gotta go to ex. Not sure I can/will obtain a mortgage. Health isn't great. Mobile hairdresser. Suicidal thoughts come September...

OP posts:
Turmerictolly · 22/06/2023 08:23

Sorry to hear this but try to take advice now. Can you claim top up benefits (look at the 'entitled to' website, start looking for rentals and getting a deposit together. Moving into a rental will give you head space whilst your house is being sold. Will you have enough equity to buy a place? There are some cheap properties in the north and maybe a fresh start is what you need.

Original poster
ZedM · 22/06/2023 08:40

Equity about £100,00. So, not enough to buy outright. Will follow ur advice on rent deposit and maybe a new start somewhere. Got family in Essex/Suffolk... Thanku for ur reply.

OP posts:
Turmerictolly · 22/06/2023 13:57

There are some properties around Lowestoft and the outskirts of Norwich for £80K - £100K. There is also lots of new build shared ownership but you'd need to enquire about eligibility. Can you get a 'regular' job to build up payslips as evidence and do the mobile hairdressing on the side for extra income? That might be a way forward.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 22/06/2023 17:12

So sorry that you're struggling Flowers

Is your DS leaving school? What's he planning to do?

House4DS · 22/06/2023 22:01

Go and speak to a mortgage advisor, don't guess.
Who has been paying the mortgage so far?
How much is it and how much do you need extra to pay ex-h?

Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 07:35

It's so weird you mentioning Lowestoft! It had crossed my mind to move further up Norfolk way where it might be cheaper. Thanku for your help and positivity..x

OP posts:
Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 07:37

I got the equity in the divorce and bought outright. House is now worth approx £200,000.. only little 2 up 2 down... 46% to be given to ex...

OP posts:
caringcarer · 23/06/2023 07:52

ZedM · 22/06/2023 08:40

Equity about £100,00. So, not enough to buy outright. Will follow ur advice on rent deposit and maybe a new start somewhere. Got family in Essex/Suffolk... Thanku for ur reply.

£100k would buy you a house mortgage free in Hull. You'd have a fresh start and still have a decent standard of living. My son could not afford to buy in Midlands so moved to Hull. He got a job within a week and bought a nice 2 bedroom terraced house for £75 just over 2 years ago. Prices are a bit higher now but you'd get a 3 bedroom terrace for £100k. It's reasonably close to beaches at Witherinsea and Bridlington. He's found a nice park to walk in and has made good friends and a lovely gf. Be brave take the plunge.

Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 07:56

Thankyou. Food for thought. x

OP posts:
MeetingPlace · 23/06/2023 08:12

Praying for your happiness and a secure home and income.

Be hopeful, keep trying, this too shall pass.

One day you’ll look back on this time from a happy place.

areyouhavinglaugh · 23/06/2023 08:34

If you are self employed and have tax returns even if you are on uc to help top up, you can still get a mortgage.. even if it's a small one.

Income is income to a mortgage lender... see it as a new beginning. Scary as it is. I did similar a few years ago and honestly it's been very lovely to not have ex in my life and be free of childcare duties!

Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 11:44

Thanku for taking the time to comment. It helps! Gonna get my head out of the sand and start organising!

OP posts:
House4DS · 23/06/2023 16:00

Have you looked in to getting a mortgage for 92k?
Selling and moving will cost you money, so if you can avoid it and don't want to move a mortgage would probably make sense.

fancreek · 23/06/2023 18:42

If you got equity in the divorce and bought outright, why do you now owe ex half?

BelieveThemtheFirstTime · 23/06/2023 18:49

If you got equity in the divorce and bought outright, why do you now owe ex half?

Yes, this question?

MichelleScarn · 23/06/2023 19:02

BelieveThemtheFirstTime · 23/06/2023 18:49

If you got equity in the divorce and bought outright, why do you now owe ex half?

Yes, this question?

Same! I read that as you divorced, you got equity in marital home and bought somewhere else outright?

Meeting · 23/06/2023 19:10

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MichelleScarn · 23/06/2023 19:37

@Meeting house is 200k so op gets slightly over 100k, there's def areas in UK this would outright buy a 2 bed!

Meeting · 23/06/2023 19:39

@MichelleScarn I thought OP said they had £100k in equity and he gets 46%? I've I've misread and she's got £100k then that just makes it worse to be honest.

MichelleScarn · 23/06/2023 19:46

@MeetingPlace ZedM · Today 07:37
I got the equity in the divorce and bought outright. House is now worth approx £200,000.. only little 2 up 2 down... 46% to be given to ex...
My brain too fried to work out and being climbed on by baby at mo!
But seriously OP, how long have you known this was coming?

ssd · 23/06/2023 20:12

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Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 22:20

I was waiting for the nasty comments.... u didn't disappointed... Ever heard " if you've got nothing nice to say; DON'T say it. Ask my son about my suicidal plans....🤨

OP posts:
Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 22:21

Pi** off if you've nothing positive to say...

OP posts:
Original poster
ZedM · 23/06/2023 22:25

Why bother commenting if you've nothing positive to say? Do one

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 23/06/2023 22:26

That escalated quickly!