Really Struggling

[fishnchipsdinner]

I'm really struggling today and would be grateful for any advice.

I had a breakdown quite a few years ago and rebuilt my life. I'm fearful that I am getting depressed again.

I am trying to juggle working full time, dealing with anxiety and sorting things out for a parent.

I don't think I've got much to look forward to. My flat has become grotty although I keep it clean, I've got job insecurity. There's all the anxiety of the family stuff.

I live on my own and have friends but can't bring them down with my problems. I "mask" at work. I tried online dating but I am in my late 50s and look like a car wreck. I gave up in the end.

I'm not going to do anything stupid but I am so fed up.

Just think about what you did yesterday, and the day before and every day before that. You coped, that's what. You dealt with whatever life threw at you and you used your wisdom, your intelligence, your experience and and your resources to deal with it. There's no reason to think that you won't continue to cope, as long as you look after you first and foremost.

Please do talk to your friends - several minds are better than one and I bet you'd feel bad if you knew one of them were struggling and didn't ask for help, or simply just a hand hold and an understanding ear. Let them in.

It's normal to have peaks and valleys as you go through life. We all have bad days, or when we question our future or just can't be bothered.

When things get hard, there's this overwhelming pressure to fix the entire thing or to analyse too much. Let that go. Don't scroll on IG looking for people with seemingly perfect lives, talk to people who are similarly struggling as that will make you feel less alone.

You don't have to fix everything tomorrow. Just get through the day, get sleep if you can, and when you can, try doing something a bit different to your usual routine.

Its all about the small wins in these times, when I'm bad I think about how can I do something manageable today however that looks, take a shower, take a walk etc. Seems miniscule on the scale of things but actually when in the thick of it can be like climbing a mountain. Then when you feel things are more manageable then feel as if you can take a step back and evaluate what you want to change in certain aspects of your life. Also, please reach out for support, we always feel like we burden others but that's our opinion, I'm sure they wouldn't feel like that at all. Best wishes x

I think having something to look forward to is a good place to start, I think about the future & things I would like to do for myself (for me, it’s a yoga class, taking on a rescue dog & having a nice garden / I can’t do these things now but I look forward to when I can). Find little things to look forward to if you can. Coffee with friends?

Your flat- work on this, when you say grotty, is it that it needs updating? Could you paint it, change things round? Buy a new rug?

Oarent situation- could you get some help with this so it doesn’t feel so daunting & stressful?