Self harm scars on arms in summer

[Babymama2022]

I have deep self harm scars from years ago after a mental breakdown on my arms, I finally felt more comfortable showing them this year, at least around strangers (still afraid to reveal them around friends in case they judge me and don’t want to speak to me anymore, as I don’t have many friends) but had a relapse recently due to a lot of stress going on in my life and now my arms are very angry and red looking, it’s awful. It’s extremely hot and when I’ve been out and about by myself I’m fine going around with short sleeves, however I’m so worried about meeting up with friends in this hot weather in case they see my arms especially with them looking so horrible now. I went to an exercise class with a friend followed by a walk after recently and wore a long sleeved top, I was just extremely hot but wasn’t able to change my top, I’m meeting another friend this weekend but I know that I’m going to have to keep my jacket on the entire time as I couldn’t cope with them commenting on my arms or potentially judging me badly for it and then losing them as a friend. i also do personal training at the gym, I always wear long sleeved top even though I get really hot, however I happened to bump into the PT when I was out and about going to the shop on my own and when she stopped and chatted to me I felt she was shocked/disgusted at the state of my arms and it’s made me feel really sad.

not really sure why I’m posting this, just wanted some advice or words of what I can do on my situation, coping with the heat when I have to wear long sleeved tops. Thank you.

Be careful. My arms are covered in scars and before I stopped giving a fuck, I used to wear long sleeves all summer which caused me to pass out.

Get a really lightweight cover up, like something one would wear at the beach, that's my recommendation.

Good people will not judge you negatively, they should show compassion, not aversion to you.

If your friends are decent friends they'll be concerned, you wouldn't lose them.

Can you stretch to a silk shirt? It's a lot cooler than sunlight direct on your arms and looks like a fashion choice rather than an attempt to cover up.

In a similar way, if you were to go for a specific hot weather technical top at the gym, that keeps you cool rather than warm - after all, there are a lot of Muslim women who will cover up more than that in the gym and seem absolutely fine.

There are plenty of people who choose to cover up rather than expose their arms - some for religious reasons, some to avoid sunburn/skin damage, some just don't like having bare arms. They aren't all melting in the heat or passing out.

No one is going to be disgusted OP, just concerned if they are recent. If the person you ran into was noticing, it was just that.

If you aren’t comfortable having them out, get some loose think cotton shirts, which you could wear unbuttoned over a vest top if you want. Or some cotton beach dresses / smock tops have longer arms.

I notice people often show arms with old scars, and I doubt anyone thinks much about it, but if they are recent I can see why you might not want to.

If you wish to cover up consider a linen cover up - monsoon sell some nice long sleeve options. That will be much cooler than a jacket.

I dont really have an advice unfortunately but just wanted to say that I understand! I have this issue every year when it starts to get hot. My scars are from about 17 years ago, they have all healed but are quite white, shiny and prominent and are on the outside of my upper arms. I've had friends, random strangers and work colleagues ask about them. Some are sympathetic, but some very patronising, condensending or just damm right rude to be honest. One work colleague commented rather loudly (in front of the whole office) "what the hell have you done to your arms, why on earth have you gone and done that?" I honestly didn't know how to respond. I don't know why people feel the need ask. I go through phases of caring a lot, then not so much. In this heat, I always make sure I have a light cardigan or jacket to slip on if needed. Have you though about a shawl or thin scarf?

Another option might be to use a concealing make up to cover the scars. There are lots around so I am sure you could find something to suit. I would also say to you that, although you may feel very self-conscious about your scars, many people may not notice at all. I remember once falling on a steep path and taking all the skin off my elbow. I didn't have time to go home to sort it out as I had a bus to catch. I ended up on the bus and later walking round a busy town with blood trickling down my arm. No one said a word about it. Anyway, here is a link to a concealer if you think it may help. Good luck in finding a solution

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Concealer-Makeup-Professional-Vitiligo-Birthmarks/dp/B07DRG3V2K/ref=sr_1_56?adgrpid=1177577852090117&hvadid=73598815999312&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=41225&hvnetw=s&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-73598753596863%3Aloc-188&hydadcr=8939_1859990&keywords=concealing+makeup&qid=1687635744&sr=8-56