Don't want to be here

[luki1]

I've had enough.
But I have a 2 year old that needs me.
I've just had enough 💔

Didn't want to read and run as they say!
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I don't know why you feel how you feel but you are enough and you are the world to your child ❤. Are you safe? Are you on your own? Is there anyone that you can talk to about how you feel?

Thank you.
I'm not on my own. DH is with me who truly is a dear.
I have no one to talk to other than DH and he doesn't know how I feel. I don't want to worry him

Hi there @luki1 . We're so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. We thought we'd just drop in with our usual list of links to help and support, in case they are of use. We're also going to move this thread over to our Mental Health topic where we think you will find lots more people who have been where you are now and will have great advice and the benefit of experience to share.

Can you share what's making you feel this way?

I've been there, I know how it feels.
Please talk to someone, and seek professional help. Do it for your 2-year-old and yourself.
I hope you start feeling better soon.

OP know it is a feeling and it will pass. Get some help.

I've suffered with depression all my life so it is possible to manage it with the right help. You can witness your feelings and let them guide you. When your feeling down it is definitely time to help yourself. Do something that will add a drop of dopamine into your day. Then do something else that will too. And keep adding.

I send you love

I was like this last year.

Honestly , what saved me, is I went for a week by myself to Spain.

Knowing I can get out of my rut, and go and have a nice week abroad.

Try to get someone to look after your child, and treat yourself to a week abroad.

This honestly really saved me. We all need a holiday

Do try and talk to your DH if you can. I'm sure he would want to help. Can you go and see your GP?
I've had times of feeling like you but they have always passed. I've often needed professional help to get to a good place but it's worth it. You.wont always feel like this. Have you tried phoning the Samaritans? Not only are they a good outlet, but talking to them can help you organise your thoughts and work out what you need to feel better, and how to go about getting there.

You need RL help. Contact your GP and I would advise you to talk to your DH as well. Not to worry him but so he can support you.

@WhamBamThankU life is just too much.

I've been in my career for 7 years if you include training. I've tried multiple roles and I just continue to be miserable. I can't handle it anymore. I'm not good at it. It's taking over my life. I can't switch off and I feel like im going insane. I want to leave but I can't for financial reasons. I also feel like I'd have nowhere to go or start

As a result, I'm very mentally fatigued all the time and don't have the energy most days for my energetic and adorable son and it fills me with enormous guilt every day

It's also affecting our marriage and sex life

I just don't know where to go from here.
I'm planning on handing my notice in tomorrow (2 months)

Don't give up on yourself, your little family needs you ♥️
Start by taking practical steps. Talk to your husband, talk to your GP and figure out what needs to be done next.
I know you want to hand your notice in, but if that will be detrimental financially would you consider getting signed off sick by your GP? That would give you breathing space to process what's going wrong and what you can do to start making the positive steps towards finding happiness again, such as therapy, job searching, quality family time.
In 6 months time things could be totally different if you put the steps in place now to make the changes needed to find happiness and peace in your life. The first step is reaching out for help though, and there's no shame in that.
Your little one is relying on you so you've got to do this, but for now you need to focus on yourself so you can be a happy mummy for your child, and for yourself.
You've got this ♥️

I'm feeling the same at the moment 😞 so just sending some understanding empathy. I don't think any words really make it feel much better, but it does seem to come and go in waves sort of like labour so I try to ride it out for the next lapse.

Please see your GP, antidepressants really will help you open your eyes to see the good in life again, do it for your Son and DH if not for you xxx xxx

Make a plan to start a new not to end... so plan to get better emotionally so you can go to another job location or retrain as something else xxx

I'm in the same boat OP. I feel like I'm fighting for my life against this. Trying to 'cure' myself of all the damage. I'm sending you love.

OP I hope you feel able to speak to your GP. Sending you 

@Muddlingthroughthissocalledlife do you take medication along with the finding little things to help give shot of dopamine

Absolutely I do. I take that as a given.

Yes I feel the same