Spiralling depression/suicidal ideation

[PotsnPan]

Don’t even know why I’m posting here. Separated from H 11 weeks ago, I’m spiralling, keep thinking rock bottom and then feel worse the next day. Can’t think of anything but my marital situation, completely lost myself, pushing my daughter away from me, she’d be better off without me cos I can’t function as a parent.

I’ve always been so strong, this feeling is alien to me. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Been making plans of how I can end things. In touch with medical professionals, I’ve a MH assessment on Monday but just want all of this to end.

I’ve been on mirtazapine for 3 weeks, helps to sleep but I wake up with a panic attack each morning. I’m getting that way I dread waking up

I'm so sorry OP. Sometimes we experience times we just have to keep breathing through. I'm very familiar with that dread-of-the-waking-hours feeling. Horrendous I know.

I've suffered with my mental health for many years, and it can make life exceptionally challenging.

I'm so glad you've sought help.

Take care, and sending you love

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.