I think I regret having 10 month old DD, she's a lovely baby and she does make me smile but I don't look forward to spending time with her, it's always a bit of a chore, and I just want my life back. I went back to work when she was 6 months which has really helped but I still have this feeling deep down that it was a mistake to have a baby. I always really wanted a child but I have no idea why. Most of my friends are enthusiastically childfree and I'm so so jealous. I feel like my life is over and I've made such a terrible mistake, I want to go back in time and undo it.
I'm having a bad few days at the moment because DD isn't sleeping well and I'm on my period so extra emotional but even on good days I think if I could go back and not have her then I would. I know how horrible that is and I can't say it to anyone in real life.
I've been having CBT but I don't know whether it's worth seeing the GP too. I don't really feel depressed most of the time, it feels like these are pretty rational feelings to me but maybe that's what PND feels like? Or maybe it's just what having a baby is like? Or maybe I've just made a mistake and I need to live with it?
Sorry for the long moany post!