How do you deal with these feelings?

[CleoWayne]

Resentment to contentment. Resentment comes and goes of course but I wonder how others deal with it? I’m married, we get on ok..ish but I don’t feel we’re a great match. It’s only now I’m older that I can realise this.

I have an adult child DD with ADHD and it’s been hard dealing with all it brings. My other adult child DS has left home some years now and I don’t have the relationship (I thought) I’d have with him. I find this difficult and disappointing. My DD and I have few things in common but I really wished she wasn’t ADHD. She’s never yet held down a job and I do worry over the future for her.

I know this sounds like a moan and a whinge…it is I suppose. My parents are in their 80s and this makes me sad knowing once they’re gone I’ll only really have the kids as my brother died when I was very young. I’ve little in the way of extended family and feel sad when I see families out and about together and I’m usually on my own. DH and I enjoy doing different things and this often extends to our DD doing her own thing. How do I let go of this resentment feeling others have it better and start to feel more happy and content?

Thanks

What would you like to change about your own life (not that of your daughter or husband)?

Do you have friends or hobbies? If not please try and find some for yourself. Anything to help your health and well-being is a good start if you're not sure- yoga? Zumba? Crafting? You must have more free time with kids grown up.
You don't have to stay in this marriage but I think until you carve out a bit of a happier life for yourself with interests etc you won't feel confident enough to know if you'd be happy to leave. Working on doing nice things for yourself might also improve your marriage - you are probably so burnt out from your years of child caring and a bit lost now.

@Eyesopenwideawake I know I’d like to change how I feel about things, be more accepting of my life. I see mothers and daughters go out, shop, meals, coffee. I do none of that with my daughter. This makes me sad.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum Yes I have a good friend I go out and see each month. Hobbies, not so much but I do volunteer (which I love) and also study a few hours a week.

I’ve pushed myself to do these things and whilst it helps keep me busy, I still have these feelings. I don’t want to feel like this but they go for a bit but return.
I do worry about my mum as we’re close and if I lose her I’ll have no one I’m close to in the family.