Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Looking after children when diagnosed with a serious mental health condition as a single parent

2 replies

Scaredaboutthefuture56 · 08/06/2023 09:54

I have no idea about this so asking on here as I'm sure someone has experience of it.
It is my husband who has been diagnosed last year. Well managed at the moment and a lot of support from professionals.
My problem is that I want us to separate. We have been together a long time and I have wanted to separate for about 8 years now but a lot of things stopped me . It wasn't and isn't due to his mental health condition.
I was about to take the leap just before his diagnosis and then of course stayed to support him through it, and take care of the house, children , all day to day things as he wasn't able to at that time.
He is now recovered as in medicated but obviously things can happen /relapse down the line.
I completely trust him to look after and care for our children if we separate on the days that they are with him. They are older so would be able to tell me if there were any problems etc
But at the moment I am the point of contact for his care. I am the one that organises , speaks to all of the psychiatrists etc, deals with appointments and all of that and I am classed as his carer also. Of course this would all change.
He didn't and doesn't want any one else to know about his diagnosis so non of his family know anything.
What would happen on our separation? I'm presuming they would demand another family member take over from me? What if he refuses that or there is no one? He would have no support at all from family .
Will the mental health professionals be OK with him having the children etc unsupervised ? I know this is a ridiculous question but I don't want to cause him any unnecessary stress or problems by me leaving the relationship. I would never want him not to be able to have the kids or feel he can't be trusted etc but I don't know what they will say as he is under their care for 3 years. Because I am here at the moment obviously there aren't any safety concerns for the kids . By this I don't mean that he would hurt them but could become unintentionally neglectful as if he had a relapse he can't function, and withdraws from everything.
Any advice to make this separation as easy and stress free as possible for all involved?

OP posts:
MaxwellCat · 08/06/2023 10:15

I don’t know probably not much help but Years ago my ex was sectioned and I was contacted by social services they wanted to make sure he wasn’t having contact with the children or they would get involved (he was not through his own choice so it wasn’t an issue) this was years ago though and I know he is medicated now he barely sees them now if I’m honest but social services did contact me like I said so it probably depends on the extent of his illness

Scaredaboutthefuture56 · 08/06/2023 10:23

He wasn't sectioned but that's not to say he won't be in the future. He is a very involved parent and would want 50/50 custody more than likely

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page