I feel like over the past weeks I’ve been getting really stressed, overwhelmed and sort of weirdly disassociated. I’ve done a few strange, impulsive things too. Kind of throwing money that I don’t have at things.
Anyway, at a busy London station today I felt like I was about to burst into tears at any moment. My chest was tight and heavy and my eyes started filling up and I just stood there for ages with tears running down my face trying to compose myself. Found a quiet area after a good 5 minutes then went and got a drink etc. I can’t really describe how I’ve felt since, like I’m not in my body or not ‘me’. I’m currently away for work and I honestly could just leave all my bags here and run to the station and go home in my pyjamas.
I don’t know what is happening to me or what to do. I’m by myself. My DH is at home with my small DCs who I’m missing horribly. I have a history of depression and am already on medication, I realise that ‘you might be depressed , see a GP’ will probably be the first advice!
I don’t really know what I want from this post but I’m on my own in a hotel and lonely and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve just ‘broken’ somehow today.