I'm going to walk out and never come back

[Dreamitaway]

I've had enough. My kids don't listen to me, they argue, cry and fight. I've had an absolute enough. I'm feeling full up with some horrible virus and have had my younger two just constantly arguing and I snapped.

I just screamed at them to start listening to me, I'm fed up of them being absolute angels for everyone else but when it comes to us, there is zero fucking gratitude, nothing whatsoever.

Now I know they're children and its not OK for me to lose my shit and shout at the kids, but I've had enough. I work all week, I come home and barely have enough money to put on the table despite the fact that both me and my partner work and then the kids don't even try the food.

Then there's life in general, just constant worrying. I'm sick of it. I really am. I could quite happily not ever wake up again because at least I wouldn't have to spend every waking hour of my day worrying. Its exhausting.

The kids don't appreciate anything we do. Nothing is good enough. They're always telling me about how much their friends are going away, going on trips out and I can barely afford a trip to the beach. If life is always going to be this painstakingly miserable, then I don't want it.

I feel for you. Things will get better, kids don’t understand how awful they can be when mum and dad are doing their best with little thanks from them. Mine have all left home now but it was hard for us too. You will look back in a few years and wonder how you coped, I know I do. Take each day as it comes, it’s all you can do. 💐

Get stricter. Give the kids boundaries. It might seem easier to be relaxed with kids but I now know how my mum raised all 5 of us without going mad. We had to help, even when we were young. Eat our food, help tidy away. Learn to play independently and also be quiet when asked.
Don’t wait to lose it, set your boundaries proactively.

I have no real answer for you but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling like this. I came very close to just getting on a train and leaving everything a couple of weeks ago, in a large part due to the constant fighting and daily struggles. I have reached out to a counsellor for help. I had CBT on the NHS years back and it was really helpful. Maybe worth trying?