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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

This is a pile of shit and I'm done

24 replies

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 17:45

My life i mean, I have two beautiful children who I am failing, I'm just done. I can't anymore. I have no one in real life to get this out to, I'm just done

OP posts:

Toughtips · 02/06/2023 17:46

Ah what's happening? Have you spoken to your doc about some therapy? There's loads of support out there. Be kind to yourself your babies need you x

onlyamam · 02/06/2023 17:47

Don't listen to that voice in your head. Think about the devastating impact on your children if you're not around. Contact the Samaritans on 116 123 before you make any sort of decision.

Howiwonderwhat · 02/06/2023 17:47

Your children absolutely need you. Have you told anyone how you've been feeling?

Fiddlerdragon · 02/06/2023 17:48

You are your children’s world, and you are certainly not done! Why do you think you are failing them?

MNHQ

ImaniMumsnet · 02/06/2023 17:48

Hi OP,
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Mental Health Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to mental health support. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide

AdoraBell · 02/06/2023 17:49

Tell us what the problems are. Scream, shout and swear here if you need to.

BCBird · 02/06/2023 17:49

Please reach out and speak to someone. Two beautiful children who need you. Call Samaritans. Virtual hug OP.

Merangutan · 02/06/2023 17:50

Talk to us, OP.

IHadTheLasagne · 02/06/2023 17:52

Can we help OP? Would you like to talk about it?So sorry you are feeling like this x

wildfirewonder · 02/06/2023 17:52

I send my thoughts, and agree either talk on here or call Samaritans

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 18:14

Thanks for the replies, I have read them, just not feeling in a place to reply to each of them.
It's hard to explain what's going on as there's so much but a lot of it comes down a toxic shitty relationship and I want to get out but I'm scared and don't know how or where to start on my own

OP posts:

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 18:14

I'm convinced I'll fail my kids if I leave their father

OP posts:

Daffodilsandtuplips · 02/06/2023 18:26

My love, you won’t fail your kids if you leave their father. Please reach out to someone, Woman’s Aid, the Samaritans, your GP Health Visitor.
Keep talking to us, someone is listening. .

Ifeellikeateenageragain · 02/06/2023 18:27

OP, totally get that it's all overwhelming and writing it all out probably is exhausting. In the absence of knowing anything more, you are NOT failing your kids if you need to separate from their father. Often staying with the father in a toxic relationship is worse for the kids - let alone you! Is there anyone you can talk to IRL? Like others have posted, Samaritans are always there if you don't feel you can talk to anyone around you.

Also, it's half term so it's always intense and exhausting at this point (not detracting from the shitty relationship) but just know that you're also probably feeling depleted because of that. You won't always feel this way.

I'm so sorry x

cassiatwenty · 02/06/2023 18:33

Keep talking, when you feel like you can, things may be a bit overwhelming but it's not forever hun ⚘

Wallywobbles · 02/06/2023 18:55

The hardest step is the first one. And it's the scariest. Get some support to put a plan into place. We can help do that if you would like.

Do you any access to money? Where would you like to go?

Just answer those 2 questions for starters.

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 19:50

I have access to money, I have a job. I would have a lot less money if I left him as he earns way more than me, but I do have quite a well paid job. I don't know where I would like to go, closer to my daughters school probably.

OP posts:

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 19:50

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense? My head is extremely foggy and I can't think

OP posts:

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 19:51

He confuses me because he's awful to me one minute and then nice the next, I don't know if I'm coming or going, it's all over the place

OP posts:

Original poster

enoughofitall · 02/06/2023 19:52

Our youngest child is only 2 and I feel bad at the thought of taking her away from her dad but I am so unhappy

OP posts:

Bookishnerd · 02/06/2023 19:55

Just to say that we’re here OP.

I have no advice, only words of succour. When I was at my lowest, a health professional told me ‘the sun will always rise tomorrow’.

I found that helpful. You can find a way through, even if it feels like spaghetti right now. You got it

Pixiedust1234 · 02/06/2023 19:57

Speak to womens aid (you can email too) and enlist their help. They will listen to you, and they will signpost you to the best groups that can help with each problem you have. They can break it down into manageable pieces

cassiatwenty · 02/06/2023 19:57

Yes, I echo @Bookishnerd. We're here. You can process your thoughts and get it off your chest. Many of us have been there.

💙

lookingforMolly · 02/06/2023 20:34

Hi @enoughofitall I'm having a shit time too!!

By the way one of my best friends recently left her husband, she has 2 small boys and they have coped, if I'm honest I think splitting up when children are involved is better when the children are younger as they're more adaptable at a younger age.

If being with your partner is making you very unhappy then you do need to start to make plans to leave, you only have one life so make the most of it x

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