Depressed partner

[SarahLouise10]

Been with DH for 15 years, he's been on depression tabs for a while, and recently notice they not working, they have been increased and have arranged talking therapy with the Dr. But the problem is he keeps saying me and our child is better off without him and he thinks it's best he moves out. Is this the depression and do we hang it out in hope he feels better. We live like mates not a couple. Don't want to leave him and even more so if he needs us rather than pushing me away? 🤔

You're not alone, I am in the same boat. My husband has had health anxiety the whole of this year, leading to depression. We have briefly discussed one of us leaving, but I don't think either of us would. I'm purposely spending more time out of the house as I don't feel comfortable at home, but in my head I'm not at the point of leaving. I'm clinging on hoping it will get better. Would different tablets help (although I guess that has its own side effects) or private therapy? My husband is having private therapy but it's going to be slow ... baby steps. I have no answer I'm afraid, but only you two know if you are better off apart, but I hope it doesn't come to that, but I know how you feel and it's not easy x

When people are suffering with depression, they often try and push their loved ones away. When actually they need their support more than ever. It's often a sign they are spiralling downwards so please try and hang in there if you can.

Honestly, I don't think he knows what he wants. He talks about moving out. But not done anything towards it. Don't know if he wants me to make that decision for him and get the ball rolling, just not nice feeling hearing him say about it all the time. 😏

I agree with @HundredMilesAnHour - it’s very possible that your husband’s depression has increased lately and that it has made him feel worthless and unloved, even though that isn’t the reality. I have moments like that as well when I’m in a very bad way. I don’t want to speak to anyone, I become very irritable and feel invisible. Is he speaking to a therapist at all? If not, it may be helpful for him to speak to one because a disinterested third party could help him to make sense of his feelings at the moment, even just to voice them aloud to someone. You are probably not the best person for him to hear all of his negative thoughts and feelings because you may, as you’ve mentioned, take them personally. My wife and I have had many similar situations during our marriage. You can still support him by making him feel seen and loved, despite his attempts to push you away.

Do you feel he influences you and DC with depression? A bit hard to help him if he wears you diwn tbf