I'm looking for any advice please.
H has suffered with depression throughly his life. Childhood/paternal abandonment issues that have impacted him and which his mum refuses to address.
He's so angry with the world, anxious, has prophesied that he'll end up alone 'in a bedsit' but that at least he'll 'have peace.' Unable to have a conversation, it will end up with him screaming names at me that I feel he wants to say to his mum.
3 years ago, I found out his bio dad had died and told him. Turns out his family knew but didn't feel the need to tell him. He was so confused and sought counselling, and since then has been looking for answers about his birth, but his mum continues to refuse to give him answers.
Late 2021/early 2022 I wanted to end the marriage as he was becoming verbally abusive in drink and I'd had enough. He fought for me, we had a lovely summer.
In July, his mum was awful to him over his birthday, and he decided to go to counselling to work upwards confronting her about the answers he needs.
In august, he screams at me out of the blue that he no longer wants to continue the fertility treatment we've been undergoing for 8 years and then our marriage has become toxic, he's been verbally abusive (I have too in retaliation), saying vile things to me, he's started damaging the home, he's self-harmed, threatened suicide, it's become physical.
All this time, he hasn't confronted his mum - I feel as though he is tyrannical towards me and directing 44 years of rage at me.
7 weeks ago, he's gone to his mums, she apparently just stays in her box room or goes to work. He's not interested in much else, he gives our DD lifts when needed. He tells me he doesn't love me, but doesn't love/like himself, and he wants a divorce.
He has blocked me, when he does speak to me, it's absolutely horrific abuse, calling me names, swearing at me, threatening to harm himself.
I'd ideally like to work at us but at the moment, I have to understand his current mental state. It's just so hard.
I know he's done online CBT but I think he's in the midst of a breakdown - I've no experience of breakdowns - does this sound familiar to a breakdown? If so, how long do they last for?