I feel like I've shut down

[EllieM103]

Hi all, I have a DD1 who is 9 months old. We also have 4 dogs and a small business. I've just started going back to work occasionally as part of a phased return. DP works full time.

Yesterday DP went out for something which was expected to last only an hour. He was gone all day and gave me absolutely no indication of when he'd be home. When he returned he didn't come in the house, he just pottered in the garden.

He finally came and had baby at 5pm (she goes to bed at 6.30). At this point i just climbed in bed fully clothed and have remained there since.

I feel so fed up of doing everything whilst being the main caregiver for DD1. Meanwhile DP does as he pleases. I can't remember the last time I spent time on a hobby, DP advised I just make time for this, which I'm still looking for the recipe for!

I just feel like I've feel in a hole and can't climb out. Has anyone else felt like this and how did you overcome it? If you have something horrible to say please don't as my MH can't take it. Thanks x

Lovie, you don't (necessarily) have a MH problem but you do have a DH problem. Why do you think he isn't sharing the load?

I wouldn't say you have a MH problem, you have a case of lazy selfish DP problem.
Go out today even if it's just to sit in a cafe and read a book or drink a coffee and leave him with the baby.

@HadEnough2023 I'd love to but he's at work 😫

@Eyesopenwideawake I think he sees things in a very old fashioned way. Man work. Woman cook clean. But I also work and it feels impossible x

That's because it is impossible. If you were to separate you would have one less person to cook and clean for and he would have to support his child financially and/or have joint custody. Have you discussed this as a possibility with him? Not in the heat of an argument but as an option for solving this issue - because you clearly can't go on with the present set-up.