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Mental health

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Original poster

Husband gone away

11 replies

cathmcg78 · 12/05/2023 23:13

Can I ask a question. My menopause has kicked in and suffering badly with panic disorder and low mood badly struggling for 3 months

my husband had a trip with a friend to California booked since last year and he was so excited

since January my mental health has been really bad and he’s been my main support.

he says with my friend here I should be fine and thinks I can cope. And going on his trip.

he is now away and I am going to a private mental health resort for a few days.

do you think he was right to go on his trip whilst I’m in such a bad mental state?

I would never ask him not to go but knew how bad I was.

just wondering people’s thoughts.

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 12/05/2023 23:15

Yes I do think he was right.

airmaxJ · 12/05/2023 23:15

How long is he gone ? Maybe he needs to get away to keep his own self strong ?

Dotcheck · 12/05/2023 23:16

Yes, he should go.

Kangarude · 12/05/2023 23:17

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling but I wouldn't have expected my DH to cancel a trip that he had planned for a year.
I hope the resort is helpful for you

AtrociousCircumstance · 12/05/2023 23:17

Yes he was right to go. Sorry you’re struggling OP.

Is he generally supportive?

Lysianthus · 12/05/2023 23:17

Were you booked in already or did you do this after he left? If the former then I can see why he might have felt ok to leave, though if the latter then absolutely not. When you say 'resort' are you in the UK? Need a bit more info before being able to give advice probably.
Having said all that, I wish you all the very best. Hopefully you are receiving excellent medical treatment

ValerieDoonican · 12/05/2023 23:19

I think he wil be able to care for you better if he can also lead his life as well. It means you are also supporting him, which is great. It also sounds as though you have been proactive and sought some professional support for yourself, which is brilliant too. You can do this best as a team - for both of you

Azandme · 12/05/2023 23:20

Yes he was right to go. I say this as someone who's former husband had depression - it impacts the partner hugely, and they need care too.

Fiddlerdragon · 12/05/2023 23:26

Of course he should go. It’s been 5 months since and including January, not 3. Would you deny him a break with his friend after relentlessly supporting his unwell wife for so long, presumably with no end in sight yet? I don’t mean that to sound callous at all towards you, you must feel horrendous with your main source of support gone, but he needs this. And from the sounds of it you’ve got so many other people around you helping. You’ll be fine. Would you not feel even worse making him cancel a rare break he’s been so excited about?

PaigeMatthews · 12/05/2023 23:30

I also think he was right to go. Youre getting the help you need.

thaegumathteth · 12/05/2023 23:42

Yes he was right to go. I have severe anxiety and dh often has to go away with work and I'm home with kids and life efc. Sometimes it's hard but sometimes actually it forces me to just get on with things. Either way being somebody's emotional crutch is REALLY tough. He needs a break and you do have support where you are.

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