I've been putting it off and off, and dp isn't too keen on the idea of it, but I have been on the waiting list for my GP's counsellor for a while now, and today they left a message saying to phone them back to make an appointment. I'm quite nervous, but do feel that I need to go now. Although things between me and dp are fine, I'm starting work in January and things have been ok, I do feel like I'm starting to maybe not cope as well as I have done/thought I was the past year.
I find myself more isolated now, and rarely do I hear from my friends. I'm meeting up with several of them on 18th for a Christmas do. But I don't see them often, even though now that I have a car, I had thought I would be seeing them a lot more. I'm worried that I'm not doing a great job at being a mother. I worry that maybe dd is feeling neglected or she is bored. May sound stupid, and she is a very happy soul, and people have always complimented me and her on how happy she is and relatively well behaved. I do think I'm lucky with dd as she has never really given me any trouble (and sorry if this sounds like I'm boasting, I'm just trying to get my "lifestyle" across) She's slept through since she was 3 months, hardly ever cries although she is very clingy at the moment which could cause problems when I drop her off at nursery when I start work.
My mum comes round every so often. Less than she use to, but I find I get really down when she comes, and can't be myself, and I wanted to spend Christmas Eve at my house with dd, and then go to hers Christmas morning, but she's trying to make me feel so guilty about it. Dp isn't happy about me spending Christmas Eve on my own either, but I'd rather do it that way. Besides I can never sleep at my mum's. It's the most uncomfortable bed I have to sleep in, and my sister will be there too, but tbh I can't stand her. She's invited herself and her fiance to dd's birthday, and although I'm not going to stop her from coming, it would have been nice to have been asked if her fiance could come as well.
Sorry just realised I'm starting to rant now rather than focus on what this thread is about. Anyway, at the moment, if it's not one thing, it's another. One bad thing from another keeps happening to me. Today's a prime example. I'm hoping that if I go, they can put things in perspective for me, or help me cope with things that happen around me, or how to cope when exp and his family come down. Can they help me with things like this? What should I expect? Do you think they could help me, or would I be wasting their time? Thank you if you did get through all that, and sorry if I waffled on a bit. xxx