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Original poster

Severe nervous breakdown - can you fully recover

112 replies

Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 17:31

It’s been 3months since my dp and a a sudden and severe breakdown.

is on meds , having therapy but seems to be getting worse (the Psych has tweaked meds. )

any light at end of tunnel ? Thanks!

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 10/05/2023 17:46

3 months is a bit short. What does "getting worse" mean in this situation?

I had a second breakdown about a year after the first. I was still too ... fragile, perhaps, to cope with the after-effects of what happened the first time. Everyone's different, and all situations are different so I hope your DP's more fully supported than I was. Impossible to put a timescale on it!

I will say that no-one comes out unchanged. The whole point of a breakdown is that your mind's decided it [a] won't put up with life as it is any more; and [b] it's time to face up to whatever awkwardness is lurking in your past. Recovery entails dealing with both these factors which, as you can imagine, is going to mean some things have got to change going forward. And it's a process - never really "done", it just gets less intense after the initial rollercoaster.

Are you seeing a therapist too? It can be very useful, especially if you do want to hang in there for a while.

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 17:51

Ah thanks for posting @GarlicGrace and sorry you had such a hard time (

By getting worse I mean I suppose the symptoms are intensifying - I suppose I mean his trajectory is still down .

the confusing thing is nobody can see a trigger . But he does have some childhood issues to process.

yes was thinking I made need counselling . It’s just been so traumatic and shocking (

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 10/05/2023 18:00

Yes - I'm sorry you're going through this, it's quite alarming! I'm glad you've been thinking of a therapist for yourself.

I don't know if you've ever visited the Stately Homes threads on here? Lots of MNers have experienced everything getting "worse", almost unbearable sometimes, as things crawl out of the woodwork and we start seeing ourselves with a different perspective. It is a rollercoaster; the advantage of therapeutic support is that his counsellor should be able to modulate the pace so he isn't crashing through too many walls at once.

I feel for him, obviously, but I will quietly add that you're not obliged to be there through it all. You really would be better off talking to a professional rather than a stranger on the internet!

From this stranger on the internet, for you: Cake WineFlowers

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 18:15

Aw thanks . Yes I just don’t know what to do - I will look at the thread thanks.

we have been together 5 years and no inkling of anything like this then bam(

OP posts:
anon666 · 10/05/2023 18:19

This happened to us in lockdown. It was horrendous.

I feel for you. There is definitely so much hope. It does get better but at the time it feels interminable.

I've had DH go psychotic and paranoid and it's very tough. You do have to get support.

GarlicGrace · 10/05/2023 20:20

It's very hard when you want to make someone better, but know it's not that kind of thing. Pretty much all you can do is keep them fed and watered (as far as possible) while they do their process. It can leave you feeling helpless, lonely and unappreciated.

I'm sure others have told you it's very, very important to take care of yourself - I'm repeating that! We're mostly unused to treating ourselves as our own patients or friends; it's one of the things your DP will be learning, and it's good for you to do it for yourself, too.

MightyEagle · 10/05/2023 20:25

Yes, absolutely. I had a close family member sectioned after a significant breakdown. Hospitalised for 3 months, then another 6 months of not being very well at home, but 2 years later and they've got the medication right, they're stable and living a very normal life. This person has bipolar, and still does verge on manic episodes, but we're all much quicker to recognise it now, and act accordingly.

EmmatheStageRat · 10/05/2023 20:39

@Ronnie2022 yes! My sibling had a full mental health breakdown following the death of our father. I try to blank it from my memory as it was a hideously traumatising time for us all, but you sound so desperate that I want to give you hope. My sibling, previously a fully functioning member of society and a career high-flyer, was: sectioned two or three times, handcuffed and arrested by the police (for their own safety), tried to kill themselves by climbing out of a third-storey window and then again on live railway lines. My sibling spent six months in total detained on two psychiatric units. At one point, there was a risk of a section order that would last for a minimum of six months.

The recovery has been full and miraculous, with life and career resumed and you would never know or believe it had happened.

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 22:06

Thank you all so much for posting .

it is just so hard to deal with as it was so (apparently) our of the blue . Well no trigger that can be worked out. It’s like why now when he was apparently really happy in a good place . Can’t understand it ! But maybe that’s part of it !

OP posts:
Gallathea · 10/05/2023 22:14

Sometimes with therapy, things can get worse before they get better, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

3 months is really no time at all and yes, full recovery is possible. Flowers

Bretoncrepes789 · 10/05/2023 22:19

Yes. A family friend is an academic and they got overwhelmed by work and unsupportive management and they had a full psychotic breakdown. They were admitted for in-patient care for eight weeks, left hospital and had medication and therapy for nine months and recovered after a year. They are now very wary about potential triggers and have a better work/life balance.

Bretoncrepes789 · 10/05/2023 22:22

Sorry forgot to say good luck to you op, it’s almost worse for partners and family members sometimes. Do t give up hope. Give yourself breaks. Recovery is a marathon not a sprint and you need to take care of yourself too 💐

fpurplea · 10/05/2023 22:28

Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't. My mum never did, despite 15 years of meds and therapy she never worked again and was never quite right. But have two different family members who bounced back after a year / few years. Sympathies, it's not an easy thing to go through for anyone involved.

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 23:08

EmmatheStageRat · 10/05/2023 20:39

@Ronnie2022 yes! My sibling had a full mental health breakdown following the death of our father. I try to blank it from my memory as it was a hideously traumatising time for us all, but you sound so desperate that I want to give you hope. My sibling, previously a fully functioning member of society and a career high-flyer, was: sectioned two or three times, handcuffed and arrested by the police (for their own safety), tried to kill themselves by climbing out of a third-storey window and then again on live railway lines. My sibling spent six months in total detained on two psychiatric units. At one point, there was a risk of a section order that would last for a minimum of six months.

The recovery has been full and miraculous, with life and career resumed and you would never know or believe it had happened.

Gosh that must have been horrendous at such am awful time for you all.( thanks for sharing !

OP posts:
Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 10/05/2023 23:10

So by reading all your comments we are talking year /s not months (

OP posts:
Nix32 · 10/05/2023 23:18

My OH had a complete nervous breakdown. It took about 6 months to get him on the right medication/dosage, then another 18 months of intensive therapy. It was a year after that that he came off the meds, so about 3 years altogether. However, we are both very aware that he is not 'cured' and that it could happen again. Stress is a trigger we have made huge changes to accommodate that.

Don't underestimate how tough this is on you - it's very easy to feel ignored/forgotten. You can only look after him if you are looking after yourself first.

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 11/05/2023 07:32

@Nix32 thank you for posting . Yes he def isn’t yet on meds that are working for him and just found a therapist …

I love him very much but worry about the future - I can’t imagine him being able to work for eg

OP posts:
Iwishmynamewassheilah · 11/05/2023 08:06

The right therapist and the right meds can be a transformative combination. It takes time, though. As others have said, look after yourself too. Although there's no "apparent" trigger, there will be contributing factors from his past, I would imagine.

ashamed1235 · 11/05/2023 10:32

It can be a long road. My one - a year on a downward trajectory, lots of med changes, crises and almost hospitalisations - crisis team involvement etc. 2 years not working. Then gradual improvement /slow upward trajectory of being able to leave the house and then resume some normal activities etc. Now working again and fully better, albeit armed with new diagnosis’s and a fuck ton of meds.

It was awful for me but I know it was also terrifying for my partner and we are still processing in a way.

Do look after yourself too OP, and get breaks when you can. You matter too! Take care.

Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 11/05/2023 12:04

thanks all

is there finaamcial support we could be accessing ? We each own our own separre properties x

OP posts:
Original poster
Ronnie2022 · 11/05/2023 12:08

@ashamed1235 I hope you’re in a better place now xx

OP posts:
Kellioo · 11/05/2023 12:19

My DH had a breakdown and was admitted to hospital 10 years ago. He made a full recovery, he's had the odd blip since but counselling and a tweak of meds stopped it ever getting so bad again.

It's a long journey but he absolutely can recover. It's tough for you too and I think it can take the partner longer to get over the shock and worry sometimes. I got support from the charity Rethink and MIND offer good advice for partners/family.

My DH got awarded DLA now called PIP whilst he couldn't work, which helped a bit with living costs.

Take care op, remember you can't fix him and you come first 💐

Mbop · 11/05/2023 12:21

The only advise I can give is that don't try and rationalise the irrational. The illness is unique and individual and very hard to predict.

Ask for a carers assessment his social worker should be able to do it for you. Also ask social worker for help and advice regarding benefits. As PP stated PiP can be awarded if he meets the criteria.

GarlicGrace · 11/05/2023 12:23

Ronnie2022 · 11/05/2023 12:04

thanks all

is there finaamcial support we could be accessing ? We each own our own separre properties x

He should fill in the calculator at entitled to. Or, if his brain's too fried (it's incredibly common to develop a fear of 'forms'), do it for him.

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